Husband demands wife choose him over her job. To her, there was no decision to make.

Every couple encounters conflicts in their relationship, which is a natural part of any partnership. These disagreements can stem from various issues, such as communication breakdowns, financial struggles, unmet expectations, or intimacy concerns. However, tensions often escalate when one partner refuses to empathize with the other's perspectives. Over time, even minor arguments can create a rift, gradually eroding the foundation of their marriage. A Reddit user known as u/User_194842 shared her experience with such interrole conflict in her marriage, where a persistent disagreement over her career choices ultimately led her to contemplate leaving her partner. “My husband is insisting that I quit my job to become a stay-at-home wife or he will divorce me,” she revealed in her post headline, highlighting the pressure she feels to abandon her professional identity against her will.

In her post, the woman shared that she had been married for six months. Before her marriage, she had not held a job since she was dedicated to being a full-time caregiver for her brother. After getting married, she entered the workforce to help fulfill the couple's shared financial goals. At that time, the couple needed additional funds to cover their wedding and honeymoon expenses and manage their household costs as they began their life together.

In her new role, she worked four to five days a week, typically finishing her shifts at 5 p.m., and occasionally wrapping up as early as 3 p.m. However, tension arose when her husband asked her to quit her job and become a “stay-at-home wife.” He argued that he was now earning enough to support them both, which left her feeling pressured to abandon her professional ambitions.

On top of that, he wasn’t even considerate enough to let her have equal access to funds. “I have not quit my job because my husband does not provide for me financially, nor does he give me any access to funds. He pays the rent and gives me an allowance for the grocery shopping but will not give me any access to funds. To sum up, he doesn’t provide me with any money to spend on myself or save up for my goals,” the woman shared.

Another factor that fueled the fire of disagreement was that the husband didn’t support her with any household chores despite her holding a full-time job.

“We have no kids, and my husband does not contribute to any household chores despite me asking for help all the time. He ignores me every time I ask him to help around the house and expects me to do everything for him. Although I have a job, I always ensure that I've cleaned the house before I go to work, and I clean again once I get back home in the evening. I cook about three times a week, but he expects me to cook for him every single day,” the agonized wife said.

When her husband kept asserting his preference, she couldn’t help but come to blows with him. “I am extremely unhappy and have expressed to him how anxious this is making me feel because I love my job and do not want to give it up,” she wrote. She explained that her job made her financially independent and helped her get out of the dark mental rut she often found herself in before getting employment. “I have goals and ambitions, and I feel as though my husband is blocking me from achieving my dreams,” she expressed. 

She revealed that when all her attempts to make her husband understand her feelings went in vain, she packed her bags and left for her parents’ house. “It almost felt as though he was punishing me for not obeying,” said the unhappy wife in her post. Many Reddit users had their say on what she should do next. 

“Walk away. Run, actually. Don’t have a child with this man,” said u/Kitchen-Copy8607. u/blonde2468 commented, “It’s time to walk away. I would never want to be married to someone who treated me like your husband does.” u/myredditusername428 even went on to advise the woman to “Divorce him. And do not get pregnant! You do not want to be financially dependent on a controlling, abusive man.” u/individual_baby_2418 proclaimed, “Save the job, quit the marriage.” As for the current status of her marriage, the woman hasn’t shared any updates.