Husband considers divorce after wife of 22 years tells him 'not to expect one cent' from her inheritance

Marriage often involves navigating challenges and making sacrifices, but what happens when one partner feels their efforts have gone unappreciated? A Reddit user, u/IrishRoller, shared his 22-year marriage story, expressing frustration after his wife inherited a large sum of money and refused to share any of it. He began by explaining how he had supported his wife financially and emotionally since the start of their marriage.

He wrote, “My wife hasn’t worked in all those years. Her decision not to work was never about being a stay-at-home parent; she just decided she didn’t want to work due to low self-confidence.” Despite the challenges this created, he stayed committed, especially after the birth of their daughter, now 18. He claimed that when they were on the verge of losing their home, he asked her to help by getting a job, but she refused. The inheritance his father left him after he died saved their house. He added that he used that money to "subsidize" their mortgage during a difficult time. 

In fact, after conversations about his wife needing to get a job, "she would ignore me for days and act like nothing happened afterward,” he shared. Her reaction left him feeling unsupported but determined to provide stability for their family. Things took a turn when his wife’s parents fell ill. He described stepping up to help her manage her parents' care and taking on responsibilities that included dealing with her toxic extended family. For example, when her uncle scammed her father, the man claimed that he stepped up to confront her extended family because she was too scared to do it "even though she could have lost everything to them." He continued to support her emotionally through the deaths of both her parents, ensuring their affairs were handled properly.

To protect what she was inheriting, he claimed that he contacted solicitors, estate agents, and accountants, and maintained her parents' house while it was in probate. However, once the inheritance was finalized ("a large six-figure sum"), his wife’s response left him stunned. He said, "I've been told straight out, not to expect one cent from it, as her father left it to her. We argued about it a couple of weeks ago, and I reminded her of a comment she made around five years ago, when I told her, 'If it wasn't for the money my father left us when he died, we could have lost our home and been homeless.' Her response at the time was, 'We wouldn't be homeless, you would. I'd take our daughter and move home to my parents.' She denied ever saying that."

She now denies ever making that statement, but the memory has stayed with him. “Am I wrong to be majorly p***ed about this, considering I supported her for 22 years?” he asked, adding that he now views the situation as a potential dealbreaker for their marriage. Reddit users poured in with their timely advice. “Now that your daughter is grown, it’s time to kick your useless, toxic wife to the curb while you can still find some happiness in your life,” u/RealTonySnark wrote.

u/Snibbitz commented, “Sorry to be frank, but your wife sounds like a self-centered sociopath who is only in this marriage for the responsibility-free lifestyle it provides her.” u/bugabooandtwo added, “You’re right to be angry, but you’ve had 22 years to walk away, and you didn’t. You let her treat you like this the whole time. Now you have to decide if you want to keep putting up with it or move on."