Husband calls mother-in-law's babysitting 'too expensive' — until he finds out what daycare actually costs

Caring for children is demanding work, requiring constant supervision and essential daily tasks. However, many underestimate the complexities of childcare, often oversimplifying the effort involved. A woman and her mother found themselves in this predicament following her husband’s dismissive approach toward babysitting. The woman, who herself is a mother of two, took to Reddit after her husband’s shifting stance on finding the appropriate daycare for their little ones.

In the post, the woman revealed that her husband made a dramatic U-turn—initially rejecting her mother’s childcare services but later wanting them back. This shift came after the birth of their second child. “My husband is a lawyer, and I’m an engineer. We both have intense careers, but he wanted a second child. I was happy with our daughter, but he really wanted another child,” she wrote. She explained the couple were raising two daughters, aged 3 and 1. Following her maternity leave, her mom (the kids’ grandmother) stepped in. To properly take care of her grandchildren, the grandma resigned from her job as a nurse.

“My mom is a nurse but quit to look after our kids. I insisted we should pay her the going rate for daycares in the area, which is around $1,500 per child. So, we pay $3,000 for her to care for our children, cook for them, etc. She will also pick them up sometimes, as we may need to be in the office early,” the woman remarked, emphasizing how her family reached a mutual arrangement. However, it was not long before her husband began complaining about the expenses the couple had to bear to pay her mom. “My husband complained a lot about how expensive it was to pay her. He makes $140K, and I make $110K, so we can afford to pay her. But he thinks we are overpaying her and complained about it to her face,” the woman said, further stating how her husband’s uncalled-for remarks made her mom upset.

“I argued with him on this for months until I decided it was better for her to go back to work and for us to use daycare,” she added. Moreover, she highlighted how the couple had to shell out an extra $300 to pay $1,800 for external daycare. “We have less time now and at a higher cost, with our children getting sick a lot during the winter season,” she added. She admitted that finding a daycare was difficult for the couple, and even if they did find one, it would not cook food. On top of that, her family fell sick at least three times this year.

During a business trip, the woman recalled how, in her absence, her husband was late picking up their children, which resulted in a $75 fine. “My husband is now demanding that my mom leave her job to go back to babysitting our children, but I won’t let her because he did no research into the real cost of childcare and kept complaining about how expensive it is, even when I showed him,” she suggested. “My mom, even working part-time, makes $4,300 a month as a nurse, and I told my husband that if we want her doing childcare, we need to pay her that amount. He wants her to go back to the $3,000 charge and is angry, claiming my mom is asking for too much for such a simple job and that a grandma taking care of her grandchildren is a ‘privilege,’” the woman continued.

Amid all the difficulties in raising children, the woman claimed, “I told my mom not to quit and told him that she isn’t babysitting, which reduces his number of free hours and makes our lifestyle harder. So, he is angry at me.” Her post managed to draw widespread attention on social media, including from u/Ok-Acanthaceae5744, who said, “He took for granted how well he had it. Now he can live with the consequences for complaining.” “Not a good character recommendation for that man,” u/Puskarella added.