Man debates importance of career over family relocation

Reddit user u/PracticalHornet9594 found himself in a difficult situation when his wife wanted to move to another state for a job change. The husband questioned whether it was fair to prioritize his job over his wife's his was the main source of income. He then explained the situation and said his wife works at college and looks after the dorm issues. "Overall, she doesn't make much and due to this, she only pays for our groceries," he wrote. He suggested they could save money if she stayed home to care for their child instead of using daycare.

The husband went on to state that he was the one who paid for everything. He added that his job was going well and he was moving up the ladder in his career. "The issue started when she wanted to switch jobs," he wrote. He shared that initially, he was fine as she was not too happy about her current job. However, when she began applying for school jobs outside their state, he wasn't happy about it. However, she finally got a job in which she would get regular promotions. He said that even if she got a promotion on the spot, it wouldn't be close to what he was making.

Tensions rose when she expressed her desire to accept the new job. He disagreed, explaining he thought it was a bad idea. It resulted in an argument between them. "We argued back and forth and she kept saying my job was more important. I snapped and told her yes, my job is more important than hers, that my job is the only reason we can afford this quality of life," he shared. His wife called him a jerk and stopped talking to him. He also mentioned that he had a license to do this job and if he moved to any other state, he would have to apply for another license.

People on the platform were also upset that she was not thinking about the whole family. u/gracie_jc commented, "She wants to move the family and affect your job for the potential of moving up the ladder on the same lower-paying role she is at currently!? Abysmal financial and career decision. Sit down and calculate the ROI of changing jobs for both of you. I'd suggest she changes fields to something higher paying and with better job prospects (nursing, coding, etc). She currently has a job perhaps, if she had a career, she would feel fulfilled."

u/kronkLaSworda wrote, "She's not an AH to want a new job with a chance of promotion. She's not an AH to be unsatisfied with her current career. She's an AH because she doesn't seem to realize the impact losing your job will have on the total family income, lifestyle, retirement, etc. Her choices affect both of you, but she only seems to care about what it will mean for her." u/AffectionateWay9955 said, "She's being ridiculous. You don't relocate for a job that doesn't pay enough to provide for the whole family when you are currently almost covering bills. You are also open to her staying home. You are NTA, just being honest as to the reality of the situation. Maybe it wasn't worded the best, but you are right."