How this couple's decision to buy dream house led to a sour start of family drama

Buying a house is a significant milestone, often the culmination of years of effort and dreams. For 27-year-old u/Cold-Brilliant-4578, the path to reclaiming her grandparents' home—a place rich with family memories—was paved with hard work and an unexpected twist that strained family relationships. From a young age, she envisioned bringing the cherished home back into the family. The sudden loss of her grandparents and the financial strain that followed led to the sale of the house, but she was determined to one day get it back, no matter the cost.

"I recently closed on our dream house and it has the family torn. Years ago, my grandparents owned 'the family home,' but when they died unexpectedly with a LOT of medical debt and expenses, our family had to sell their house," the woman started her post. As a child, she dreamed of reclaiming it and shared it with her sister. "I met my wife when I was 18 and she was 21. Her parents owned a small rental and they allowed her to live rent-free, just paying for the expenses. She invited me to live with her a year into our relationship and we got married a year after that," she added.

The woman shared her dream of buying that house with her wife. Since both were living rent-free, this allowed them to start saving significantly. With good jobs and her in-law's $75,000 contribution, the couple managed to accumulate a substantial amount for a down payment to fulfill her dream. Over nine years, they saved $185,000, enough to buy back the house as it hit the market. When it re-entered the market, the woman contacted her sister.

"When our grandparents' house went on the market, I sent the link to my sister and said that we were finally getting our grandparents' home back in the family. She was very excited and said as much and that was that." The couple inspected the house, met with the owners and agents, and made an offer, which finally got accepted. "Throughout this whole process, my sister kept saying how excited she was to have the house back in the family and how nice it would be for her children to know this house and grow up in it like she and I did," the woman added.

"We had a bbq at my parent's house to celebrate the final closing of our house," the woman added. But this is where the story took an unexpected turn. During the celebration, her sister revealed her assumption that the house purchase was a collective family effort. She believed it would be either rented out to her family or the title transferred to her, with her repaying over time. This misunderstanding led to a heated confrontation. The sister felt entitled to the home because of her children, thinking it was only fair they grew up in the family home just as she had.

The woman shared, "My sister had it in her head that we were buying the house to either A. Rent to own it out to her family or B. Transfer the title to her name and have her pay us back in time. Yes, that is literally what she was thinking, despite us never discussing anything like that once." The sister's sense of entitlement was clear when she asked why the woman and her wife would be packing, suggesting she thought they were buying the house for her family.

The wife made it clear the house was theirs, which they bought with their savings and hard work. "My wife told her that it isn't 'the family home' anymore. It wasn't left in a will. We purchased it and now it is our home. And we decide what we will do with it," she said. The sister got angry, claiming that her children deserved to grow up in the family home more than the couple did. The situation escalated when the sister disrespected the wife. "My sister told my wife to shut up and that she had no say in 'family discussion,'" the woman recounted. "I informed my sister that if she spoke to my wife that way again, we would not be having any kind of contact with her anymore. That she doesn't get to assume we're giving her a HOUSE and then throw a hissy fit when she's put in her place." 

The aftermath left the family divided. While the woman's in-laws supported the couple, her family criticized them for "taking" the sister's dream. They argued that the woman, who did not have children, couldn't understand the sister's desire to provide a good home for her kids. "My parents told me they were disappointed in me for taking my sister's dream from her and that I don't have kids, so I can't understand her want to provide them with a good home and childhood like she had. That it's only fair we set up a way to give her the house and that we could afford to find something else," the woman shared. Even distant relatives chimed in, saying it was cruel of them to "take that from her."

After the turmoil, the couple decided to distance themselves from her family, focusing on maintaining their new home. People in the comments supported the woman and shared some suggestions. "Your sister is delusional and has made up a narrative in her head that she is 'owed' or entitled to certain privileges. Your parents are crazy for reinforcing that narrative to her. Good on you for taking your wife's side and not standing for the disrespect." said u/EvryDayGal.

"Why don't your parents care about your dream to own the grandparents' house? Why don't your family members care about your sacrifices to be able to buy the house? Is your sister the 'golden child' who can do no wrong?" asked u/DifficultWing2453. "Welcome to being childless. You're immediately viewed as not as important as your sister. Take a break from your family. They are showing you how they view you and your wife," commented u/l3ex_G. 

The woman shared an update, thanking the people for their advice and sharing more details. She said she sent a message to her parents and siblings to meet and "to talk things through." The woman shared, "I told them that I never once even suggested my sister would be allowed to rent out the house or buy it from us. I didn't know where she got the idea from and showed them the text strings where I first sent her the listing and every conversation where I updated her on the progress."

It seemed the entitled sister had spread the misinformation everywhere that the woman would rent the house to her and later sell it. After learning the truth, the parents supported the woman. Once the sister arrived at the place, she started fabricating an untrue story with no apparent evidence. Now, since everyone knows about her entitled sister's intention, she's looking for an apology from her end. The couple is working toward making their house safe by installing a proper security system.