Scientists just launched an 'OnlyFans' for marmots. Here's why
Their new OnlyFans page swaps adult content for adorable marmots—all in the hope of funding research.
For more than 65 years, scientists have been observing marmots in Colorado’s Rocky Mountains, capturing their behavior through trail cameras. However, after the Donald Trump administration cancelled billions in research grants, one scientist turned to OnlyFans to procure the funding for marmot-related projects. Daniel Blumstein, a UCLA biologist, brainstormed this out-of-the-box idea one day while enjoying a slow morning. Researchers will publish exclusive marmot content on the platform to secure funds, as the Rocky Mountain Biological Laboratory announced in a June 18 Instagram post. It is difficult to obtain signed consent from these pudgy, football-sized rodents, but the funds acquired will be helpful for scientists in studying their social behaviors and response to climate change.
Out-of-the-box solution
The RMBL Marmot Project is one of the longest-running marmot projects with over 65 years of data on the creatures’ population dynamics, social, and anti-predator behavior and a zillion other observations. In 2001, Blumstein was working on a marmot project, and for over a decade, it received financial support from the National Science Foundation, per SFGate. But after the term was over and he applied to renew the grant for the next 10 years, the organization turned down the proposal three times and asked him to stop applying. Then one day, while he was spending time waiting for marmots to do things, an idea popped up in his head. When he communicated the idea, one of his graduate students urged him to go ahead and create an OnlyFans account, as he shared with Live Science.
Though it's best known for adult content, Blumstein’s OnlyFans account, which goes by the name “OnlyMarms,” promises to provide “unfiltered yellow-bellied marmot content from the Rockies.” The account features daily photos and exclusive videos of chubby, cute marmots with names like Staple, Pawprint, and Cabinet. Photos include tiny marmots perched on rocks, digging, burrowing, and decorating burrows with plants. “It’s going to be G-rated, and we’re not going to sexualize this,” Blumstein said. As of now, the subscription is free.
For brilliant ecosystem engineers
While this may sound like a fun project, it is, in fact, quite vital for the planet. Researcher Zuzana Ballová published a study in the journal Catena noting that marmots are brilliant “ecosystem engineers” whose digging actions not only enhance the soil chemistry and increase the overall resilience of the environment towards climate change and stressors. According to the National Park Service, marmots are typically two feet long and weigh about 11 pounds. They live in colonies of 10 to 20 individuals, with intricate mazes burrowed under high-elevation meadows where they come out to mate in spring.
A long shot worth trying
As of now, the OnlyMarms page has received 735 page visits and has 44 fans. Scientists haven’t been able to raise much, partly because OnlyFans takes 20% of the payment and they have to pay additional taxes on the balance. Yet, they are grateful for the donations, which will directly go to marmot research. "We're trying this out of frustration with an extremely challenging funding environment," Blumstein said. "If we're lucky, it can help raise money for supplies and some expenses. But unless we are very lucky, it won't replace the federal funding that has driven discovery in the US since the 1950s."
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