Her dad encouraged her ex to cheat, so she warned her fiancé about him. Then she saw what her dad had been texting him

Relationships and the dramas they come with are hard enough on their own, but having a parent actively recruit your partner into a toxic culture of infidelity can turn family dynamics into an absolute nightmare — something that a woman uncovered between her dad and her partner. The situation quickly spiraled out of control and ultimately left her engagement in pieces. She shared the saga on a Reddit forum, r/AITAH, on December 19, 2025, attracting over 2,600 upvotes and more than 345 comments since.

A disgusting pattern

The author, a 27-year-old woman, opened up about growing up in a home fractured by her 55-year-old father’s chronic infidelity. Her mother constantly forgave him, leaving the author with deep resentment toward her father and frustration toward her mother’s passivity. After college, she temporarily moved back home, where she introduced her then-boyfriend to her family. The two men quickly bonded over fishing and camping trips.

However, her world shattered when she overheard them casually discussing their "experiences," discovering that these "camping trips" were actually cover-ups for picking up other women together. "Essentially, Dad was encouraging him to cheat on me, but he was just discreet about it. They tried denying it, but I wasn’t fooled," she said. The author immediately dumped her ex and moved out, distancing herself from her parents.

'Just being polite'

Fast forward to her current relationship: The author met her now fiancé and was upfront from day one about her father's past betrayals and why she kept her distance. After getting engaged right before Thanksgiving, her mother begged them to spend the holiday weekend together. Seeking peace, she agreed. But on the very first night, her dad invited her fiancé out to the porch for drinks. "I felt very uneasy about leaving them alone, but I didn’t want my fiancé to feel like I was monitoring him," she wrote. When she went to sleep late that night, her fiancé brushed off their long conversation, claiming they were just talking about "football, of course." Over the entire weekend, her fiancé continued helping her dad with errands and chores, claiming he was "just being polite."

A twisted alliance

The tension reached a boiling point weeks later when the woman's fiancé casually announced he was going on a camping trip with friends. When she pressed him on who was coming, he hesitantly confessed he was going with her father. He revealed they had secretly been hanging out and attending football games behind her back because her father warned that she "would make a big deal out of it." Watching the history repeating itself, she reminded him of what happened with her ex.

Instead of reassuring her, her fiancé dismissed her as "paranoid," claiming her dad was "cool to hang out with" and hadn't mentioned anything about women, adding that her dad "didn't force" her ex to cheat. Hurt by his total lack of empathy, she gave him a clear ultimatum: "He could either stop hanging out with my dad, or I would call off our engagement." Her fiancé reacted with anger, accusing her of being "controlling" and lacking trust, before giving her the cold shoulder.

The text that ended it all

The breaking point arrived unexpectedly just two days later while her fiancé was taking a shower. A text notification lit up his phone screen from her father's number, reading, "Has she cracked yet?" Realizing her fiancé had been icing her out on purpose just to break her resolve and was actively coordinating with her dad behind her back, she took off her engagement ring and set it on the nightstand. When he stepped out of the shower, she calmly told him to pack his things and leave her apartment. "He again tried to point out how unreasonable I was being and how it was turning me into a controlling woman. I told him I didn’t want to control his life, which is why I’m asking him to leave," she said.

She drove straight to her parents' house and tore into her father for enabling infidelity once again. Unbothered, her dad callously told her, "If I expect to find a man who’ll be satisfied with just me forever, then I am living in a bubble. Men are designed to want variety every once in a while." Worse yet, her mother agreed, telling her that "all men cheat" and that what matters is being the one he "comes home to." Disgusted, the author cut ties with both of her parents and moved in with her best friend to rebuild her life.

Family friction in relationships

According to research published by the Institute for Family Studies, roughly 20% of married men in America report having engaged in extramarital affairs. Furthermore, a study published by the National Institutes of Health says that friction regarding family relationships drastically elevates a couple's risk of splitting up. Certain negative dynamics between a spouse and in-laws drive the risk of divorce up to a staggering 72%.

A unanimous verdict

Readers were certainly not happy with the dad's behavior and what he had made out of her exes. u/BDazzle126 bluntly noted, "A good man wouldn't want to be palling around with a known cheater!" u/Not_Really_Here_But added, "He’s showing you who he is (lying about who he was going with); believe him and be grateful you found out before you had a messy divorce. Don't walk away, run!"

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