He just watched while a stranger hit on his friend. What he said next made her say 'I do'
His response made Stumvoll realize a certain quality in herself, which left her stunned.
The first time Abi Stumvoll (@abistumvoll), a California-based content creator, spent time with Justin, a minor incident made her fall in love with him. It all started when a stranger started flirting with Abi, and Justin, her now-husband, instead of helping her, remained a silent spectator.
Confused, Abi confronted him — and to her surprise, his response convinced her to marry him. The couple discussed the incident on their podcast, The Connected Life, and Abi posted a clip from the episode on her Instagram profile.
This was the first time Abi and Justin were hanging out with each other, and a random guy started hitting on her. He was continuously flirting and pestering her, and Justin, instead of helping her, stood like a quiet observer. At first, Abi was confused and couldn't understand why he didn't step in when she needed him the most.
Ultimately, Abi confronted him, and Justin blew her mind with a simple explanation. "I believed you were fully powerful to handle that situation. You're capable, and you could definitely just tell him, 'no,' and stop bothering you," Justin said.
On the podcast, he clarified that if the situation had been dangerous and Abi were incapable of handling it alone, Justin would most likely have stepped in. "I remember this feeling afterwards like, 'No one ever told me that I was capable. They have just rescued me," Abi recalled. Moreover, that incident made her realize that Justin saw her potential and, by not stepping in, wanted her to experience her true power.
Previously, Abi said she was used to people rescuing her and making her feel like she was incapable of standing up for herself, but with Justin, it was different. "He gave me permission to take up more space and say no without feeling guilty," Abi confessed.
Men or women often feel jealous when someone else tries to hit on their partner. While it's natural, our response to such a situation makes all the difference. For instance, a survey of 6,566 heterosexual men and women found that 16% of women and 14% of men would remain unbothered if an individual of the opposite gender was seductively staring at their partner at a party.
Meanwhile, 12% of women and 13% of men said they would give the stranger a "keep-your-eyes-to-yourself" look. Moreover, while 4% of women and 10% of men would directly ask the flirty stranger to stop staring, 2% of women and 8% of men would start a physical fight with the stranger if necessary.
The Instagram reel received a mixed response online. While some praised the man for empowering his girl, others called him out for not taking a stand. For instance, @vachio commented, "Exactly. It's her job to reject/not entertain the other guy's advances. If she feels she can't handle it, then I will step in."
Similarly, @kristipulley15 shared, "This happened early in my marriage. I was being bothered by a guy who wouldn’t take no, and I was really hurt that my husband stayed quiet. He told me the same thing. I felt you were capable of handling the situation. While I appreciate that. A man who doesn’t hear 'no' is a lot to ask a woman to handle. We aren’t accustomed to getting our way with pushy men. Probably because they know we women usually can’t hurt them if they refuse to leave or get more aggressive."
You can follow Abi Stumvoll (@abistumvoll) on Instagram for more lifestyle content.
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