Guest asks if they were wrong to leave party after host asked them to eat in their car

People make different dietary choices to stay healthy. Some opt for veganism or vegetarianism, while others include meat or eggs in their diets. It's a personal decision that should be respected. But what happens when someone's dietary preference disrupts a social event? That's what u/Sea-Spray-2952 experienced, as they shared on Reddit how the host, Kim, a vegan, handled their food situation at a party, leading to an early exit. 

They began by explaining that their friend Kim was hosting a surprise birthday party for another mutual friend. Kim, who is vegan, agreed to handle the food while others took care of decorations. The issue arose because the poster has a soy allergy. "Kim knows about this. I never expect her to go out of her way to alter what she makes for my sake. There's just an agreement between us that it's not very often I can eat what she makes because she uses a lot of soy-based condiments and substitutes," they wrote. Since the party was after work and expected to last a while, they asked Kim to include some legumes they could safely eat. Kim said she would try.

"For my part, I packed myself an extra lunch to keep in a cooler throughout the day. It didn't consist of any meat, but there were eggs and items made with mayo or yogurt. I intended to eat it before the party started while decorating, but I wasn't hungry at that point," they explained. Once the party began, the friend ate some of the cut-up vegetables, but that didn't help with their hunger. And though Kim had mashed potatoes, she didn't remember which bowl she made with soy milk and which she made with almond milk. So, this individual went to their car and brought the packed food to eat something. Kim came over to them and told them she could smell the mayo and asked them to eat in the car.

They clarified that Kim was okay with them not eating the food she prepared. "But I knew she has a vegan household and doesn't allow non-vegan foods in," they wrote. They went on to explain, "I wasn't going to argue with her because it was her house and didn't want to ruin the party by addressing the issue right there, but I also didn't want to have to speed-eat while sitting in my car or make frequent trips outside just to snack, so I said good-bye to our friend whose birthday it was and left." A few hours later, they started getting texts from their friends asking why they had left the party early. At first, they explained that it was because they were hungry.

But their friends kept asking what exactly happened and they told them it was because Kim asked them to eat in their car. "Some of our friends are split now and think Kim should've been willing to be flexible since it was at night and really cold outside and others are siding with her. Kim is just mad and thinks I started the drama on purpose," they wrote. They asked people on the internet if they were wrong to leave when their friend asked them to leave. People in the comments support them for leaving the party to eat food. u/princess-she-ra commented, "She is one of the reasons that vegans have such a bad reputation."

"It's not rocket science to prepare at least one dish you can eat --- and to remember which dish that was. You know. Put a post-it on it. Put a purple spoon. Something. Or yeah, know, make everything with almond milk instead of soy milk for one night," they added. u/ignominious333 wrote, "Kim is a poor hostess. She didn't have food you could eat and didn't even try to ensure she knew what potatoes were free from soy. Vegans shouldn't throw parties at home if they have 'strict vegan' households. That's really immature to ignore a guest's food allergy and force them to eat in a dark, cold car. She's the problem and has bad manners."

u/whosmimi expressed, "Being vegan is a choice. Being allergic to soy is not. She shouldn't expect any guest to either go hungry or eat outside because they're eating something she doesn't agree with. You're not contaminating her food. Also, she couldn't even be bothered to remember which of the mashed potatoes could harm you. What a gal." u/aboutbird said, "It's not that hard to make vegan food without soy and any good host would have made sure there was some stuff you could eat."