Groom upset after high school friend RSVPs 'no' to wedding after being denied a plus-one for his wife

For many, weddings are wholesome affairs, yet some people show little interest in attending these events. With their busy schedules, social anxiety or the fear of being left alone in large gatherings, many often fickle out at the very last moment. The same happened to a 42-year-old man, u/MBWill8809, after a friend from high school invited him to his special day. However, the man RSVP’d "no" to the event because the invitation did not include a plus-one for his wife, requiring him to attend solo. The post showed the man questioning this decision, as both families had already met a couple of times. The disagreement between the friends began with what was perceived as an exclusionary wedding invite.

“I learned it’s not a small wedding. They work in sales, have made many contacts, and decided with some friends that they would not extend the Plus-1,” he wrote, sharing the outcome of his conversation with his friend’s younger sibling, who was also his friend. It was further explained that the invitation was designed to accommodate as many of the groom’s friends, coworkers and acquaintances as possible. The man mentioned that neither he nor his wife had any issues with the partial invitation.

“She didn’t care either way. Happy to go if invited but won’t lose sleep if not attending,” the post added. For context, the man revealed that his friend and his fiancée had visited his house for at least two dinner parties, a kid’s birthday party and a couple of BBQ relaxing days on the deck testing out the smoker. “Both women get along very well and have never had a crossword. This is simply an issue of wanting to touch as many different people as possible, and omitting the plus-1s for some guests allows this. It makes sense,” he added. “I RSVP’d no to the wedding. I just like to go to weddings as a couple. This isn’t a control thing or a respect thing—I just know weddings are long, all-day affairs, and I don’t have a million 10-minute conversations with strangers in me anymore,” the man explained his stance. He preferred to mingle a bit by talking to friends and family, eat and dance with his wife to celebrate the special day.

To say the least, his explanation angered his buddy. “I understand exactly why they’re doing no plus-1s, with no objection, and we would still send a gift despite not attending,” the post added. However, the friend didn’t care and continued to grow more agitated. “After being pushed harder, I told him, ‘For such a bright guy, I can’t see how he didn’t realize that some people would decline because of this.’ That’s when he hung up on me, lol,” the man concluded. Seeking advice from his dad, who had witnessed their 28 years of friendship, the man explained the situation. His father assumed that his buddy’s resentment stemmed from receiving far more declines for the event than anticipated. “When our lives went in separate directions we amicably fell out for about 10 years up until recently. Let's not pretend my presence is vital to their wedding here,” he said. 

Among the countless reactions to his post, u/PresentationThat2839 agreed, “I went to a wedding with assigned seating. I sat at the table with a bunch of strangers and my husband. Easily, the worst wedding I ever went to.” u/jdmillar86 suggested, “I'm sure there's some book out there on wedding planning that explains the etiquette of invitations. That's the gift I would send.”