Groom-to-be decides not to attend his wedding after in-laws tell him to face a large number of guests

Weddings can be one of the most beautiful events of a person's life, but everything leading up to it is stressful. The pressure of living up to the expectations of everyone around and planning a wedding that involves tackling an unprecedented number of problems is often grueling. It's also a time marked by a lot of confusion. This to-be-groom, u/Least_Professor2732, turned to Reddit when he made a decision that stemmed from being under pressure for a while.

The groom asked the Reddit community if he was at fault for refusing to attend his "paid" wedding before narrating everything that happened. He talked about how he had been engaged to his fiance for over a year and was set to marry her this coming March. "My fiancéef's family is very doting, they made it clear to me several times how they only treat me like family because she loves me. For the sake of this story, I will just call them ILs," he said while talking about his in-laws.

He shared that initially, the couple wanted to plan their wedding. However, because they were living in a home bought by his parents, the fiancee's parents offered to pay for the wedding. "At first, everything was fine. We wanted a venue, but we compromised on something agreeable, like another venue, because my ILs fancied it more and we could take it aesthetic-wise. Or maybe instead of pink flowers, they wanted purple. I found it tacky, but sure," he wrote.

However, things went south when the bride-to-be's parents disclosed the size of the invitation. "300 people? I've always made it clear I preferred an intimate wedding," he added before mentioning that he compromised on it and said they could invite 200. "I pulled her aside and asked her whether she knew anyone, she said maybe 80 people. The rest were relatives. She could tell I was restless and tried to assure me by cutting some. She seems to not understand why I'm nervous 'cause 'it's all paid,'" he wrote.

He then talked about how her parents were adamant and told him that "weddings are sacred and everyone should witness the union of our bond." He also said how her parents commented on him being an introvert and asked him to "man up" and face a crowd. "They also commented since they are paying, they should have a say in who they want to invite," he shared. Eventually, he couldn't take it anymore and lost his anger. "I retaliated by saying that this was my wedding and if they insist on this amount of people, I, as the groom, will simply not go," the post read.

People took to the comment section to talk about their views, with many pointing out that he needed to set things straight with his fiancee. "You and your fiancée need to be on the same page as to what kind of wedding you want. Your ILs think paying gives them control of the wedding," wrote u/squirrelsareevil2479. u/Infinzero shared, "Culture clash. You're not even married yet and the family is controlling your life. Put your foot down and say NO. If you two cannot agree on a wedding, then your marriage is already doomed." u/ree_Menu6721 added, "If your fiancée is from a culture where having so many people is the norm. It shows what a poor understanding you have of her culture or that you actively disrespect them for it."

The to-be-groom made an edit to the original post. He shared, "Me and my fiancée are on the same page. She's just more understanding of a bigger wedding than a small one because that's what she's used to. And even if she doesn't necessarily understand me, she was fully ready to support me." Both sides of the family wanted a ceremony, so they would adjust accordingly.