'My daughter was the greatest gift in my life. Losing her was the 2nd greatest gift,' says grieving mom

Grieving the loss of a loved one is never easy, and everyone deals with it in their own way, but most are too scared to cope with it. Gina Chick opted for a rather unconventional way. After her daughter passed away, instead of ignoring or resisting it, she embraced her grief fully. Chick, an Australian woman who shares personal reflections through her Instagram account @gigiamazonia, shared how saying 'yes to the grief' helped her see even the loss of her daughter as a powerful, transformative gift.

In a recent conversation with "The Imperfects" shared on her page, Chick was asked a question by the host, "What’s it like to lose a child?" "Well, I can't say what it's like to lose a child. But I can say what it's like to lose mine," Chick replied. She described the experience as a shift in understanding, saying, "The actual losing part — death — is such a doorway. A body without someone in it is like, oh." She explained that her perception of life itself changed the moment her daughter’s body no longer carried her presence. "And it's such a visceral and profound experience," she said.

Rather than suppress the pain, Chick leaned into it. "I said yes. I said yes to the grief. I said yes to that journey. And it meant that whenever I was grieving, I just went with it," she said. She described having her daughter as the "greatest gift" and losing her as the "second greatest gift" of her life. Her ability to share the experience now, with clarity and calm, came from facing everything without hesitation. "I can say this as calmly as I’m saying it because I have grieved. I’ve been doing it now for ten years." She explained that she expressed her grief in every possible way, adding, "I’ve lain on the carpet and screamed and shouted at the heavens to give her back. I’ve sat on the curb with my shopping with oranges rolling down the road." But alongside the sorrow, there was movement, expression, healing, and creation. "I’ve also laughed, I’ve made love, I’ve created art, and I’ve danced," she shared.

What emerged from that pain, she says, is a version of herself that is more grounded and open. "Because of her and because of losing her, I am stronger. I am calmer. I have more presence. I have more ability to hold people. I have more compassion. I’m a much better human," she explained. That growth, she believes, is part of her daughter’s legacy. "Every person whom I touch or speak to, that’s her. Her gift is me, in the world. Or me in the world is her gift." That sense of transformation Chick describes is something research has also recognized. A thematic analysis emphasized that meaning-making and rebuilding a sense of purpose in life without the deceased can offer therapeutic benefits and help ease suffering for many people.

The post drew deep emotional responses from viewers who saw themselves in her story. @joannefedlermedia wrote, "I don’t think I’ve ever heard anything this profound and beautiful and brutal and uplifting." @its.per_sonal added, "I understood life by having my daughter not have it in her body is such a deep statement, it is so beautiful, so bittersweet." @skiffhaven commented, "The wind/weather picking up as she continued talking about her, she was saying, 'Hi mom.'" @healwithbritt wrote, "Our grief makes us stronger because it makes us SOFTER, if we allow it." 

You can follow Gina Chick (@gigiamazonia) on Instagram and on her website to learn more about her journey.  Check out Gina's new book 'WE ARE THE STARS'.

You can also follow 'The Imperfect Podcast' on Instagram.