Grandma with Alzheimer's gasps on recognizing granddaughter for a split second: 'The heart still knows'

Amid all the relationships one develops throughout life, there is a foundational bond between a mother and daughter that stems from nurturing. The bond from bedtime kisses to shared secrets defines one’s understanding of unconditional love. But what happens when one day you wake up and realise the woman who once knew everything about you… Does not even recognise you? As heartbreaking as it sounds, Erin Sousa, 44, faced this when she realised her mother had forgotten about her.

In an intimate post on Instagram, Sousa captured a moment where her mother, who has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, happily gasped upon seeing her granddaughter, Lola. This moment of recognition, shared with her 34000 followers, showed her 5-year-old daughter asking Sousa to wake up her grandmother, who was slumped peacefully in a chair. As soon as she opened her eyes, Sousa's mother enveloped the child in a hug, peppering her face with kisses. 

Rendered nonverbal, due to the progress of the disease, Sousa said, “The way I miss her is indescribable. Alzheimer’s is torture to everyone for so many reasons… but no matter what, the heart still knows. I know about us, mom.” Sousa is known for her creative marketing strategies for entrepreneurs struggling to find a presence online. She is the founder of Sparkle Media, a brand-building company in Canada, which she launched after being laid off in 2013. Her personal brand strategy can be followed through her blogs on Substack, where she runs The Mom Flow newsletter.

Sousa's vulnerability quotient is visible through her many posts on Instagram. In another such post, she shared the exact date, April 16, 2023,  when her mother, for the first time, could not remember her. “I have dreaded the day my mom would forget who I was since we got my mom's Alzheimer’s diagnosis. To have her forget who I am is a level of grief I wasn’t prepared for. Every day is another day living in the grief of losing this most special person we’ve been lucky to have. I haven’t seen her since September, and she is very different than last time — the disease is moving quickly,” she wrote.

She went on and confessed the emotional toll it was taking on her, “I hold onto the expressions in her face and eyes, her laugh, the way she gives affection to her girls. There are moments when she looks worried, frightened, and confused, and I would do anything to help her understand what is happening in her body. I feel guilty for not being there all the time and coping in ways that may seem uncaring. Her dignity is the most important to me, and I don’t share a lot about what is happening because I want to protect that. I would give anything to have a healthy mom who could be the mom and grandma she always wanted to be.”

Sousa’s grief, guilt, and helplessness are a usual outcome of how children respond to parents dealing with Alzheimer’s, as reported by Alzheimer’s Society. According to Alzheimer’s Association, a proper opportunity to discuss and set aside a regular time to see their ailing loved ones can address most of the unanswered emotions. “The world feels so much darker to me without my mom. Please, please don’t take your parents for granted and celebrate them every time you get a chance…,” Erin penned.

Her post attracted a volume of 5.5 million views and thousands of comments. @dr.meredithmackenzie said, "I feel this so deep. They way your mother’s eyes lit up was so beautiful. I’ve been on the side of hurting when my loved one no longer remembered or recognized me, but as a mom it hurts even more knowing I could forget the people I cherish the most. Her heart still knows and I’m so glad you had a good day with her!" "My mom had dementia. At just 54 she passed from it. She couldn’t talk, walk, move/raise her arms. Really just only turn her head. But every time I came home and would say hi mama!! She would get the biggest smile on her face. It’s literal torture they are just trapped. She was the last person to deserve such a fate. I miss her so much," shared @sanabanana234.

Another user @sma1007suggested pareidolia, "Beautiful. Does your daughter look like you did as a child? I have found that those older memories are still so vibrant at certain moments. Perhaps she saw both of you in the eyes of your sweet daughter. Such a beautiful moment." "Sobbing watching this. The joy in her face is so beautiful... sending you big hugs Erin xxx," wrote @alicia_haque.

You can follow @erincsousa on Instagram for more heartwarming stories.