Grandma explains why all grandparents need to stop calling their grandkids 'my baby'

Grandparents have their sweet way of showing love to their grandchildren. They even come up with adorable nicknames and end up calling their adult child's baby "their baby." This might cause friction within the family members in the worst-case scenarios. DeeDee—who goes by @morethangrand on TikTok—advised grandparents to refrain from calling their grandchildren "my baby." "Grandparents, are you guilty of calling your grandchild 'my baby?'" she questions her viewers.

"Do you ever say things like, 'Where's my baby?' 'Let me hold my baby?' 'You are my beautiful baby?' Remember, this is not your baby. This is your adult child's baby and referring to it as yours can make parents uneasy. It feels like you're laying claim to their child. Even referring to the baby as 'my grandchild' when you're with parents can signal that you think your relationship with the child is more important than theirs," DeeDee explains in her video. She reveals if grandparents do not choose their words carefully, it might make the parents worry that the grandparents are overstepping their boundaries.

"So try this instead," DeeDee recommends using phrases like, "I am so glad to see you," "Is the baby napping?" "Let's catch up before he wakes up" and "I'd love to get in some snuggles before I have to go." DeeDee also includes some additional phrases like, "You are a beautiful baby" and "Your parents are taking such good care of you." "Parents are instinctively possessive of their children and using words that sound like you're staking a claim on their baby sets off a primal alarm that there's a threat. If you don't want to set off that alarm, watch how you refer to their baby," DeeDee concludes. The comment section of her video had a lot of thoughts to spare on this topic and a lot of people thought that calling your grandchildren "your baby" is not a big deal.

@mississippijuju commented, "I may refer to my grandbabies as my babies - because they are my babies' babies and I love them, not because I think my relationship is more important." @eyeswideopen joked, "Some of us grandparents will soon need a workbook on how to live life with the young gens, boundaries, alienation, therapy, rules. Not in my vocabulary!" @dressaddict07 mentioned, "I had horrible postpartum depression with my firstborn because my MIL always had to take over being mama when she was around my son." @jj25 added, "I have watched my twin grandbabies every single day since they came home from the NICU almost 4 years ago during Covid lockdown. My daughter wants me to say 'my babies!'"

Another grandmother shared an insightful video on social media, talking about how one can "mother a new mother." Barbara Costello, @brunchwithbabs on Instagram, made a video to dish out some of the best tips on how people can help out a new mother. "Did your mother ever tell you how to mother a new mother?" Costello chimes the video. "It's not as straightforward as you might think. Drop off a meal. Beef Fajita dumb meal – easy for you, easy for them. They can pop it in a slow cooker or a freezer until they're ready to use it. Don't forget the fixings. We've got avocado, a little sour cream and tortillas, all ready to go."

"As the mom, pamper your daughter, and if you can, try to be there as long as she may need you. Just take it day by day. For her first, I was there for three weeks. For number three, I stayed a week. That's all she needed me," Costello continues. "As the mother-in-law, I check in with my son and daughter-in-law before the baby's arrival to see where they needed me. Usually, stack the refrigerator, get those car seats in because I'm taking the older kids home."

You can follow DeeDee (@morethangrand) on TikTok for more videos about tips and inspiration on being a new grandparent.