Granddad on deathbed asks grandson if he is gay, so he could tell him he was OK with it
Many shared their personal stories about coming out to grandparents and about wishing they had come out to their late relatives.
Affirmation and support from your loved ones, especially immediate family, can mean the world, but for members of the LGBTQ community, it can be a matter of survival. According to The Trevor Project, 45% of LGBTQ young people "seriously considered" suicide this past year. LGBTQ members with a loving and supportive family reported significantly lower rates of attempting suicide, highlighting how important acceptance is. A man took to Twitter to share a touching story about how his grandad reached out to let him know that he was OK with him being gay. The person, who went by Jacob on Twitter, hadn't come out to his grandfather but the elder relative wanted to confirm his grandson was gay just so he could let him know that he accepted him, and people on Twitter can't get enough of it. "While in my grandad’s hospital room he asked to speak to me alone. ‘I just wondered if you were gay.’ I said I am," he wrote. "‘That’s alright. I don’t mind gay.’ He paused. ‘I can rest now.’ He died today. That was our last chat. In his final moment, he wanted me to know he had no issue."
While in my grandad’s hospital room he asked to speak to me alone.
— JACOB (@jacobbeechamm) July 9, 2022
‘I just wondered if you were gay’
I said I am.
‘That’s alright. I don’t mind gay’. He paused. ‘I can rest now’
He died today. That was our last chat. In his final moment he wanted me to know he had no issue😭
The tweet went viral, garnering more than 166,000 likes and was shared 5600 times in a couple of days. It just goes to show how much concern his grandfather had for him and wanted to know in his final moments that he was OK with him being gay. One can only imagine how much it meant to Jacob that his grandfather accepted him for who he was in their very last conversation. People had nothing but kind words for him and his grandparents. "So so sorry for your loss. Your grandad sounds like he was a wonderful man. I lost my grandmother decades ago. We were close. Know that you will never lose him. Carry him in your heart. He'll watch over you. You will feel his presence. He will share in your life from above," wrote one person. "While saddened by the loss of your grandfather, this is the sweetest thing I’ve read in a long time. Your story, along with many of the replies, has literally given me chills. We all needed to hear something good," wrote another. "I am glad Jacob that your grandad wanted you to know that he was ok with your being gay. A loving thing to do & something to treasure as you go through life. I am sorry about his death & wish you well. May he rest in peace," added another user.
I’m sorry for yr loss. Grandparents are the best. I had my first child as an unmarried student - he was the 1st great grandchild but my grandmother didn’t want to tell anyone. My grandad said you please yrself but I’m telling anyone who asks I’m a proud great grandad. And he was. pic.twitter.com/G1WV5llK4O
— Annie 💙 (@annienic123) July 9, 2022
I never told mine. I was nearly 40 when he died, so he’d probably worked it out. I never felt the need to force the issue (I don’t hold someone born in 1915 to today’s standards) but perhaps I should have shown more courage and trusted him more
— Stuart Poyser 🇪🇺🏳️🌈😺🎻 (@StuartPoyser) July 10, 2022
Many shared their own memories of relatives accepting them, with some wishing they had come out to their late relatives. "When my grandmother found out I was gay in 1996, she was 92 and I was 28, she simply said ‘are you happy’, I said ‘yes’ she embraced me and that was it. Acceptance and unconditional love," wrote one user. "I had a similar conversation with my father the week before he died. He insisted on meeting my partner & giving his blessing. It was a moment of understanding & meeting each other honestly that I thought we'd never have. I'm glad you & your granddad got to have yours too," commented another user.
You probably knew your gran better than your mum did.
— Elaine (@NotaBot1976) July 9, 2022
I’ve also found grans to be completely different around their grandchildren than their own kids.
By the time people become grandparents, they’ve usually mellowed & your gran only wants you to be happy x
Days before my grandfather died my husband & I went to visit him. He did not know I was gay.
— (((Jann Gobble))) 🏳️🌈 (@jgobble) July 10, 2022
When I was within hearing range - but out of the room - he told Mike: "You best take good care of Jann!"
Mike said "I will, Clarence."
Grandpa said "Call me Grandpa, my boy!"
I cried!😭
According to the CDC, rejection by important people in a gay person's life can have a negative influence on their well-being, especially during their formative years. "A positive family environment, with high levels of parental support and low levels of conflict" helps them experience healthy emotional adjustment.
So, I’m 46 now. But when I was 13 my Nan asked me if I was gay. I told her I was. She said “have you had a girlfriend?” I said I had. “And you’ve had a boyfriend?” I said I had. She said “that’s that sorted then. Put the kettle on love” 🥰
— Jamie C (@jamie_fuzzles) July 9, 2022
I learned the other day that my mother had told my grandparents (her parents) that I was bi.
— ѕтєνєn 🇬🇧🇪🇺 (@killerma) July 9, 2022
They didn't care.. They only wanted me to be happy.
I didn't know they knew.. But I'm glad they did.
I often think of them both.
That’s beautiful. Don’t know about your situation, but my grandmother held my boyfriend’s hand the first time she met him. She knew without me saying, and showed her love. My parents, on the other hand were upset, but I had moved out by then. XO
— Bruce Barton (@BruceBa21417771) July 10, 2022
Very powerful and so healing💗
— Jan Mauck (@jan_mauck) July 10, 2022
Almost 40 years ago, after a lifetime (24 years at that point) of constant criticism, my mom told me she was proud of me. The next day she was feverish and delirious and put on a vent. Her last words to me meant so much.
How lovely that he wanted you to know that he loved you exactly as you are. ❤️
— Catherine (@c4th3r1n3B) July 9, 2022
Deepest sympathies on the loss of a man who sounds wonderful! Thinking of you and everyone who knew and loved him. May his memory always be a blessing.
Shortly before my grandfather died he said he wanted his grandkids to be his pallbearers. He looked at my (male) cousin when he said it and said “including Travis”. Travis was my cousin’s boyfriend; now, his husband. It was a nice moment ❤️
— Elizabeth Brandon (@ekbrandon93) July 10, 2022
My grandad referred to my partner, before we were married, as my ‘lady friend.’ He’s gone now, but I loved him very much. At the time, he cracked us all up, even made my squeamish mom laugh, & it was an ice breaker for that side of the family that we all needed. I miss him. 😢
— Elena J (@elena_SF_CA) July 10, 2022
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