Move over, 'golden retriever' boyfriends. America is now crushing on aloof 'Black cats'

For years, the romantic lead archetype was built around the "golden retriever" boyfriend — the wide-eyed, endlessly affectionate guy who radiates warmth, loyalty, and an open heart. Sweet and safe, these men were the ones who showed up with flowers, delivered grand gestures under fairy lights, and offered emotional security as easily as they smiled. But American pop culture and social media have a new favorite: the black cat boyfriend.

He’s quiet, brooding, hard to read, but once you break through the surface, the emotional depth underneath is what fans are clinging to, and that’s the appeal. Conrad Fisher, played by Christopher Briney in "The Summer I Turned Pretty," is the poster child of this shift. His character struggles to open up, avoids dramatic displays, and ultimately loses the girl to his more eager, cheerful brother. But viewers can’t stop rooting for him, not because he says all the right things, but because he clearly feels them. "He’s not perfect, but he’s real," as PR expert Chad Teixeira told the Daily Mail, calling it a reflection of how Gen Z now approaches relationships.

The preference for emotional realism over idealism, Teixeira added, is turning once "difficult" characters into something far more desirable. It’s why characters like Felix from Lena Dunham’s "Too Much" or Marcus from "Ginny and Georgia" are getting the spotlight. Felix, played by Will Sharpe, doesn’t dote or gush. He’s aloof, rough around the edges, and reveals just enough emotion to make you want to stay.

Marcus, portrayed by Felix Mallard, spends most of his time in silence or turmoil, and yet when he breaks that silence, it matters. What makes the black cat boyfriend so compelling is the tension between detachment and devotion. They rarely say much, but when they do, it feels like everything, and that’s what gives their affection weight.

Psychotherapist Amy Morin explained the psychology behind it to USA Today: "There’s a desire to get beyond the mystery and see what lies within." That chase of peeling back the layers and earning intimacy is what keeps audiences hooked. "We might think they’d be willing to be vulnerable if they were in a trusting, healthy relationship," he said. And the trope isn’t new — Jess Mariano from "Gilmore Girls," Chuck Bass from "Gossip Girl," Angel in "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," and even Carmy in "The Bear," — each carried a kind of detached intensity, a storm brewing under silent glances, and still, they became fan favorites, and that shows. On social media, creators are comparing golden retriever boyfriends to their black cat counterparts. 

But instead of one replacing the other, the conversation is more about which kind of love feels more earned. It’s why Taylor Swift’s lyrics about love that’s messy and overwhelming still resonate, or why Klaus from "The Vampire Diaries" is still referenced years later.

There’s also an underlying emotional message that resonates, especially with younger viewers. As psychologist Ronald Levant told USA Today, these characters are "breaking the masculine code" by showing vulnerability, even if it’s buried under layers of defense. It’s a slow undoing of rigid gender expectations, making space for emotional complexity. But Morin also warned that this fantasy has limits. "There may be a desire to fix them," she said, "but in reality, they might prefer avoidance. And it’s not your job to draw it out of them or change them."