Girlfriend excluded from family trip to Italy over her diet considers radical move, finds support online

Good food is like a “cherry on the cake,” bringing joy to any occasion. However, the true essence of festivities or celebrations lies in the people, emotions, and shared experiences. But one woman is at odds with this popular belief after a tiff with her partner and his family over her food choices. The 30-year-old woman, u/Fluffy_Albatross_82, who has certain dietary restrictions, shared how she was excluded from a family trip to Italy while the others were invited. In the post, she expressed her pain at being mistreated by her boyfriend's family, prompting the internet to support her.

The woman felt left out due to her boyfriend’s family’s unwelcoming behavior toward her. While reflecting on her relationship of more than three years, she noted the stark contrast in how her partner was treated by her family compared to how she was treated by his.

“We’ve spent a lot of time with each other’s families, including going to Hawaii together with my mom and my child. My mom doesn’t have a lot of money, but she paid for our hotels and a good amount of the food we ate, as well as a special tour that we did,” she recalled. In contrast, despite being wealthy, the man’s family didn’t seem to be “accepting” of her.

“My partner’s family is wealthy, and they have paid for us to visit them several times. They have a good relationship with my 4.5-year-old child and love being in the grandparent role. While I’m grateful for them flying us out to visit, they haven’t always been very accepting of me,” the woman claimed, adding that she often felt the only reason they invited her to family gatherings was to have access to her child.

During a Thanksgiving visit to her partner’s family, the woman, who was pregnant at the time, had to prepare her own meal due to her celiac condition being triggered. But this wasn’t the first time she was left to fend for herself. A similar situation occurred at her boyfriend’s sister’s wedding when there was nothing for her to eat.

The woman also mentioned how her partner’s sister almost forced her to eat at a seafood restaurant despite being well aware of her allergies. Even her 28-year-old boyfriend couldn’t convince his sibling to reconsider, leading to a full-blown argument between the couple. “My partner spoke to them, but when they said they were still going to go, he just went along with it. He didn’t really stand up for me anymore,” the woman wrote. It reached a point where she had to apologize to her boyfriend’s parents, who were upset with her for acting “crazy.”

“It really harmed my relationship with his family, though I never felt super comfortable with them, as they have pretty different values from me. I didn’t want my partner to feel caught in the middle of things, and he wasn’t taking my side anyway,” the woman said, continuing with a similar incident that occurred during Christmas.

Her partner’s mom finally cooked her one dish as a “peace offering.” However, due to exposure to some form of gluten, she ended up getting pretty sick. “I tried not to make a big deal out of it, but obviously, they knew I was sick.” After all these instances, her partner’s stepdad, who was planning a surprise trip to Italy, bought tickets for the entire family—except for the woman.

“Initially, I had been invited, but after Christmas, his stepdad casually mentioned how he didn’t actually have money for me to come,” she wrote. When her partner tried to convince his stepdad, he argued they didn’t want to worry about her dietary restrictions.

“However, Italy is extremely celiac-friendly—we had previously spoken to him about that. Additionally, he said he didn’t want us arguing and ruining the trip for everyone else,” the woman concluded, taking a swipe at her partner’s parents’ troublesome relationship. “We’ve been together for 3.5 years, my child loves him, and we’ve lost a pregnancy together. But this is honestly making me reconsider our whole relationship,” she remarked, inviting reactions from the online community.

“Sorry, but your partner is not husband material if he doesn’t stand by you,” u/LadyNanachi_Art suggested. “If your partner isn’t supporting you and prioritizing your family, why are you staying with him?” u/Artistic-Tough-7764 questioned. “It’s not just his family excluding you—it’s him. I’d honestly rather be single than in a relationship where my partner doesn’t care if I eat or not,” u/Fragrant-Duty-9015 added.