Girl says women act like mothers and men like children when in love, sparks debate

A montage of two lovers is going viral on TikTok after many realized that it reflected Freudian themes. The video features two heterosexual people, clearly heads over heels about each other, expressing affection and celebrating their relationship. The youngsters reflected on the theme of their own dynamic and said that the boy in a relationship behaves like a child when in love and similarly, a girl would behave like a mother, reported DailyDot. While their take on relationship dynamics might seem new to them, it inadvertently paid tribute to one of psychologist Sigmund Freud's pioneering works on sexual and emotional development in a child. The video went viral with over 6.2 million views and more than 870k likes. It also elicited more than 14k comments, with a majority of them directly or indirectly referring to Freud. 

The video was posted on January 4 by Lucia (@lucia.davoo) and featured a cute montage between her and her boyfriend. The on-screen text read, “When a boy is truly in love he will act like a child,” followed by images of the boy goofing around. The text continues, “But when a girl is truly in love she will act like a mother,” followed by images of her hugging him in a motherly fashion. Viewers immediately picked up on the Freudian themes. The famed psychologist Sigmund Freud had coined the term, Oedipal complex “to describe a child’s feelings of desire for his or her opposite-sex parent.” Freud studied his patients/visitors beyond their immediate problems and delved deep into their past and childhood to see if he could spot patterns and found that children often lusted for their parents of the opposite sex and envied the other parent. He noted that it was a key stage of their sexual development. The term Oedipal is a reference to the Greek myth of Oedipus, who unwittingly kills his father and marries his own mother.

The Oedipal complex occurs during the Phallic stage of development (ages 3-6) in which the source of libido (life force) is concentrated in the erogenous zones of the child's body, according to Simplypsychology. During this stage, children experience an unconscious feeling of desire for their opposite-sex parent and jealousy and envy toward their same-sex parent. As per Freud, the right development resolves this issue but any failure to resolve the Oedipal complex may cause issues lasting long into their adult life.

Many TikTok users pointed to the Freudian themes while a few others noted that women need to stop 'mothering' their boyfriends and actually get into mature relationships. "This makes me want to vomit. Boys aka 30+-year-old men want a barely legal girl and want to act like a child themselves and her be their mom?" Another added, "We were made to be 'nurturing and caring' not their mothers, it’s totally different. They pick out girls with the characteristics of their mother." Some urged them to get therapy and felt the nature of the relationship was a red flag in itself. "When a boy is truly in love he’ll expect his partner to take care of them instead of being a grown-up is what I hear here," one user noted. Another person commented, "Maybe it’s a good thing I’m not in love." Another added, "Once again I find myself grateful to be a lesbian." One user defended the couple's dynamic and rejected the inferences many were making, connecting it to Freud, and commented, "I don’t think it means the women will act like the man’s mother. More like she wants to take care of him, protect, care, support and nurture.”

 
Others couldn't help but point out the reference to Freud's theories. "When will y'all stop proving Freud right 😭," wrote one user. Another commented, "someone dig up Sigmund rn, I need to show him something." Not sure Freud would appreciate that. “Freud has done it again,” commented another user. Another wrote, “Freud would have a field day with this y’all.”