She destroyed a $400 dress with wine to check if her boyfriend would buy her a new one. The 'test' backfired instantly
The boyfriend had always paid for dates, dinner, and groceries, even though he was just an intern
Putting a partner through silly tests can often backfire, damaging trust and creating unnecessary tension in a relationship. A 23-year-old man who goes by u/Accomplished_Userdy shared in a now-deleted post how he felt after his 24-year-old girlfriend tested him to see if he was a "provider" or not. They had been dating for more than a year, and more often than not, the author paid for their dates, dinner, and groceries. However, the girlfriend wanted to take it further and ended up ruining a perfectly good $400 dress. The deleted post can be found here.
No impulse buys
The author had recently graduated and joined his first internship a few months ago. Money was tight, but he had always tried to pay whenever he could. He even helped his girlfriend cover her rent since she was between jobs a few months ago. This should have been proof enough, but the girlfriend decided to test her boyfriend while they were on a dinner date. She "accidentally" spilled wine on her favorite $400 dress. The author felt bad and offered to pay for her dry cleaning or any repair fees. But she insisted he get her a new one. When he told her he could not afford it, she got upset because he failed her test.
He was 'not stepping up'
The author explained, "She wanted to see if I was 'a provider' and 'serious about investing in her.'" According to the girlfriend, his replacing the dress would show that he was ready to take care of her "properly." He thought she was joking at first, but quickly realized she was disappointed with him for "not stepping up." The author was confused about how spilling wine on her own dress turned into an evaluation of their relationship. He wrote, "It feels like I’m being graded based on whether I’ll replace something she intentionally destroyed." He again offered to pay for dry cleaning and repairs, but revealed his girlfriend had stopped speaking to him normally.
Should men be providers?
Today's economy requires both partners to contribute financially to the family to make ends meet. However, the societal belief that men should be the providers remains. A 2017 Pew Research Center study found that 72% of men believe that to be a good husband, a man should be able to provide for his family. 71% of women hold the same notion. On the contrary, only 25% men think that a good wife must be a provider. At the same time, 39% of women believe they should be providers to be good partners. The author's girlfriend falls under the former category.
'Run now!'
The majority of the comments were on the author's side after hearing about his girlfriend's "test." u/RandiLynn1982 commented, "Dude, run now! No reason to test someone. Also, no reason to spend $400 on a dress for dinner." u/elvenmal commented, "My belief is any person that performs one of these loyalty tests is actually not loyal to the relationship themselves because they are trying to manipulate you."
More on Scoop Upworthy
Woman rethinks relationship after finding warning note from boyfriend's ex about his red flags
Man asks if he is wrong for breaking up with girlfriend 'when she tested him' with mind games
Share on Facebook
