She watched her arthritic mom struggle up 4 flights of stairs and bought her a home. Boyfriend’s instant $57,115 demand made her rethink marriage

A woman, 25, saw her relationship tremble when her boyfriend refused to stand up for her while his family was busy insulting her ailing parents. Well, it all started when the couple decided to buy their first home, but later the girlfriend backed out, suggesting she save money and help her family instead. What started as a minor financial conundrum magnified into a full-fledged drama and left her questioning the relationship. The post (u/Interpretada), shared on July 5, has received 2,500 upvotes on Reddit.

A bold financial gamble 

The couple had been together for four years when they decided to buy a house. While the boyfriend belonged to a wealthy family, the woman’s parents were immigrants and lived in one of the poorest neighborhoods. Her mother had severe arthritis, and living on the fourth floor without an elevator was causing them much struggle daily. Seeing her parents struggle, the author decided to deviate from the original plan. Well, initially, her boyfriend's family was supposed to contribute 80% of the house expenses; in return, their son would get 80% ownership of the property. 

But then the author insisted that she contribute €50,000 ($57,115.00) towards renovating the house, while her boyfriend continued to purchase the property with his family's help. Moreover, she insisted that her name not be added to the ownership agreement, which would also exempt her from paying taxes while keeping her “first home benefits” open. "Meanwhile, I’d continue saving for another year or two so I could buy a separate apartment to help my parents move somewhere accessible and improve their quality of life," the author said.

His silence said it all

While the author's boyfriend agreed to her proposal, his mother and sister started accusing her of backing out at the last minute. They started criticising her parents for not being able to buy their own house and for manipulating their daughter’s mind. The author was obviously upset, but more so at her boyfriend for not standing up for her in front of his parents. "I also admitted that this whole situation made me question whether I’d ever want to marry him if he couldn’t stand up for me when they were insulting me and my family," the author confessed. 

Care under scrutiny

According to a 2015 National Health and Aging Trends Study, cited by Cambridge University Press, 56% of adult children, with 38% being daughters, report that their parents need them as caregivers. Additionally, a Pew Research Center survey also revealed that 28% of the women who have an aging parent consider themselves caregivers. This means that, although caring for parents should be instinctive, the author was ironically criticized for choosing to do so.

'Walk away'

Meanwhile, reacting to the Reddit post, u/jonsahick said, “The parents wanted her first-time homebuyer credits!” Similarly, u/drsmith48170 commented, “Second this — doesn’t matter the country, you don’t buy property as a couple unless married. Literally one of the worst things a person can do.”

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