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Gay man not invited to family Christmas, brave 10-year-old niece questions her grandparents about it

The gay man had been shunned by his parents after he came out as gay 8 years ago, and only maintained contact with his sister, and her daughter.

Father and daughter decorating Christmas tree - stock photo/Getty Images
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Editor's note: This article was originally published on January 18, 2022. It has since been updated.

Christmas is a time for family and catching up with loved ones is something everyone looks forward to. One man was disappointed after his family didn't invite him to family Christmas but all the more disappointing was the fact that he was not invited for being gay. The 28-year-old's parents had disowned him as a result and they hadn't spoken to him in 8 years. His only link to his parents and immediate family was through his sister, 34, and her daughter, 10. His sister still had a relationship with his parents. He shared his story on Reddit where it went viral.

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Boy showing Christmas presents to multi-generation family at living room - stock photo/Getty Images

 

"Every year, my parents host a big Christmas gathering. I’m never invited, but my sister and niece always go. A day or two after that, we do a smaller Christmas with just me, my sister, and my niece," he wrote. After missing one such family gathering, his niece was curious as to why he missed it every year. "At our smaller Christmas gathering, while my sister was in the other room, my niece asked why I never go to my parents’ Christmas. I replied with the excuse I’ve used for years: I had to work," he continued but she wasn't buying it this year. "My niece said that my excuse didn’t make sense because sometimes the big gathering happened on Christmas when I definitely have the day off. She was getting upset and asked, 'do you not like to be with us?'"

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Reddit

 

It broke his heart that she would say that, and decided to tell her the truth. "If she hadn’t said that, I probably wouldn’t have told her. But I can’t stand the idea that she would think I chose not to go to the Christmas. So, in a calm voice, I said “Well, you know how I date boys instead of girls? Grandma and Grandpa don’t like that, so they ask me not to go to Christmas.” She was incensed and decided to confront her grandparents about it. "The next day, she called her grandparents and asked how dare they tell me not to come to Christmas. Apparently, she was really harsh with them. Then, my parents called my sister and yelled at her for letting my niece around me," he recalled.

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Reddit

His sister decided to take it out on him. "My sister confronted me and said I was an a$$hole for causing the family fight and for involving my niece in it. I feel really bad, and I really didn’t expect my niece to call them and cause a fight," he wrote before asking other Reddit users if he did the wrong thing by being honest with his niece. Reddit overwhelmingly sided with him and even spared praise for his niece who stood up for him. "If I had a gay sibling and my parents abandoned them, I would totally cut all contact I had with them and watch their hearts break after having lost their gay child, their straight child, and everything else — because of their homophobia," commented one user. "I would disown my parents before I disowned my sister/brother for being gay. Look at what a great uncle you are that your niece told off your parents for their obvious homophobia and horribleness. I’m sorry that your sister couldn’t do for you what your niece did. But, plus side, what a kickass niece," one person wrote.
 

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Reddit

 

Some blamed the sister for not backing her brother. "The sister is the worst. She sets an awful example for her daughter who’s clearly got a stronger backbone than her mother," wrote one user. "The sister is also homophobic. Maybe not as much as the parents, but blaming him for not lying to a child, blaming her brother for “causing a fight” by virtue of simply existing, instead of blaming the parents for being homophobic… Glad the little kid called out everyone’s bull cr*p," commented another user. 

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Santa Claus waving a rainbow LGBTQ pride flag against the wind /Getty Images

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