Four women are sharing the mistakes they made over years of parenting so other parents can avoid making the same errors.
Parenting is hard and many people try different methods when it comes to raising their kids. Recently a licensed clinical psychologist, Dr. Kim Sage, went viral on TikTok for her videos which elaborate on a parenting style dubbed as "eggshell parenting." Dr. Sage defined this particular style of parenting as "making kids feel like they are walking on eggshells due to the unpredictability of a parent's mood and behavior" which has little to no warnings or cues. She continued to say that eggshell parenting can turn a child "hyper-vigilant to what may or may not happen next."
Many others have come forward reflecting on their own parenting styles in the past. Four women who are over 40 years old are now sharing what they perceive as parenting mistakes so other parents can learn from them early on. The women provide advice and share stories on their group TikTok account, @4friendsover40. In a now-viral clip, they revealed the biggest parenting mistakes they regret making.
Erin, 48, claimed her mess-up was a “doozie.” She explained that she grew up doing everything herself as a kid. “I think because I was fortunate enough to work from home when my kids were little, in the afternoons, I picked them up from school and did everything for them, and therefore, I think they’re not very self-sufficient,” she confessed.
Terryl, 50, went next, admitting that she regrets losing her patience when her kids were young. She now realizes that they needed more compassion at the time. “I remember one time when my daughter had school pictures one day. She was like, in first grade, and she was like anxious about it. Like, these kids get anxious about these little things, right? And I was just like, ‘Get in the car! You’re messing up your hair! Like, you need to look perfect!’ And they don’t,” she said. “It makes it worse and causes a lot of just stress and frustration for everyone, and you don’t need that.”
Sarah, 48, echoed Terryl's sentiments about being gentle with your anxious kids and letting them speak for themselves. “I have my oldest, always kind of anxious, very quiet, very reserved. So, anytime anyone asks for something, it could be the grandparents, it could be at a parent-teacher conference, and they might say, ‘Oh, what’s your favorite meal?’ And she’d pause and take her time to answer because she was thoughtful, shy, and I would jump in and try to save the day for her,” she explained.
Jenn, 57, added that her mistake was aiding her kids in falling asleep. “I lay down with her at night to read a book or just talk, and now I don’t think she can really fall asleep without me laying next to her,” Jenn admitted.
The video has raked in over 350k views with many people expressing gratitude for the advice. @rachelhayspeters commented, "Y’all are amazing for doing this. Not only is it great advice, but it’s inspirational for me to see moms be able to own their mess ups." @believeinmetonightt added, "Parenting is the hardest balancing act I think exists! All the what ifs and 'did I do this right?' It's rough out here lol. Thank you for this!"