Ayden shared his perspective and many people felt it would help foster parents understand what they are doing right and wrong.
Individuals who undertake the responsibility of becoming foster parents are in many ways doing god's work. They take care of children who have been left out with no guidance and desperately need safety, especially in their growing years. But just like any other human foster parents also tend to make a lot of mistakes, especially when they surpass legitimate boundaries placed by foster kids. In order to guide foster parents in certain dos and don'ts when it comes to dealing with the children they take care of, @raisingcultures has come out with a video that also includes the perspective of her foster boy, Ayden.
The video begins by @raisingcultures informing that the video will feature Ayden, a former foster boy sharing the 5 things that foster parents should never do while being guardians. The boy's first suggestion is "Don't expect your foster kid to call your mom or dad." Many individuals expect foster kids to welcome them with open arms, and give them a position of respect where they can demand such a huge thing. These kids oftentimes come from broken homes and are not in the best emotional state. They are not in the condition to give someone such a huge place in their life, so quickly. Instead, Ayden asks the parents to invest time in forging a true bond with them.
The second point put forth was, "Don't force your foster kids to do your religion". There are several individuals who prioritize religion and expect the kids entering their households to do so. Though they can ask them to respect the religion, it would be unfair of them to force them to follow the religion. Ayden explains that there are children from all kinds of backgrounds in the foster system, they might have their own faith and should be allowed to pursue it. If foster parents want to be true supporters, with good intentions for their children, they must not force their own religious ideas on them.
Then Ayden arrived at a serious topic by saying that his 3rd suggestion is to "Never abuse your foster kid". Unfortunately, there are a staggering number of kids who face physical and mental abuse from their foster parents. As per Jackson Foster, children in foster care develop a lot of mental disorders because of abuse. It is important that foster parents understand the huge responsibility that is put on their shoulders when they take in such kids. Their abuse could enhance any trauma they might already be dealing with due to their past. It is important that foster parents create a safe space for their children and not become a toxic presence in their lives.
The next tip was "Some kids come with money, never use that money for yourself". He explains how certain kids collect money as they go through the system which they want to spend on utilities or clothes, anything that they deem necessary or they could have money because of their background. Oftentimes the foster parents take hold of that money under various pretences like protection and saving for the future. In the boy's opinion that is plain wrong. If the child does not trust the foster parents with the money, they must respect that and back off. As the boy said, their responsibility is to make the children's lives better not worse.
The last one was "Never talk negatively about their biological parents". The boy explains that the foster parents do not have any knowledge of how the child views their biological parents so they must not disrespect them. The foster parents should not impose any kind of judgment on the relationship the children might share with their parents. Thereafter, @raisingcultures signs off from the video by advising individuals to not commit these mistakes if they are foster parents or want to become so, as avoiding them could lead to a better life for the children in their care.
The comment section was appreciative of the perspective brought on by the young boy and the maturity with which he handled the tough conversation. @carly_w_2 loved the way the whole conversation was articulated, "I love how articulate he is !!! Most tweens mutter and mumble 😂 Also what a sweet soul he is". @getrealwithab was especially impacted by one point, "The fact that he even had to say not to abuse your child BECAUSE… tears instantly hit cause never abuse ur foster child PERIOD. Should'nt have 2 be said".
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