Foster parent of 25 years holds an 'Ask Me Anything,' reveals what most people get wrong

An individual (u/business-relation695) and their ex-wife have fostered multiple kids over the years. The ex-couple fostered kids who were abused, neglected, and those with special needs. They even had foster kids who spoke different languages other than English. On June 27, 2025, the foster parent turned to Reddit to answer questions that people should know before fostering children. From considering adoption to the government's help through fostering, the parent answered everything that one needs to know. 

1. Did you ever consider adoption? Did you have biological kids? What was the biggest challenge? - u/tonguetiedBi

The foster parent replied, "We have adopted 10 children from foster care and kept in touch with many others. We have no biological children. My ex-wife and I could have had biological children if we wanted, but we decided to only foster and adopt. It is hard to name the biggest challenge. I suppose some of the children had mental health issues that were pretty severe."

2. What would you improve about your foster parenting experience over the years if you could? - u/haunting-garbage-976

They replied, "Maybe not so many kids. We've had so many over the years it's hard to keep count. Some were there less than a month, but some were there for a year or more. We always tried to not have more than 8. But a couple times we did."

3. When kids get moved around to new foster homes and don’t know why, is it because the foster parents don’t want them there anymore, but no one wants to say it? - u/teddingtonmerson

The foster parent said, "There are many reasons. Children are often returned to their original parent or other noncustodial parent. Or they are sent to a relative. Sometimes one or both foster parents die. A foster parent's home could catch fire, be hit by a tornado or hurricane, or be foreclosed on. But of course, sometimes foster parents are simply overwhelmed. Sometimes having multiple children with behavior problems is just too much."

4. Do you have favourites? - u/lankyloop901

They responded, "I try not to. But realistically speaking, some children were simply more easygoing than others.  Some older teenagers were even quite dangerous. To themselves and others."

5. Do DCF/CPS really try to reunite the families, especially when one of the parents does what they're supposed to do? - u/mermaid_juice92

The foster parent said, "The majority of the time, yes. It's usually the parents' failure."

6. Is the money the government provides for foster children enough to cover the children’s needs and expenses? I’m assuming you had to use your own funds, too; just curious whether the financial support is sufficient. - u/just_cruising_1

While the foster parent didn't specify if the money provided by the government is enough to cover the kids' expenses, they revealed the amount they get, "About 500$ a month per child."

7. What are some things you wish you'd known going into fostering? - u/nooccasion4759

"Nothing much. Except for the number of children that they sometimes asked us to take in," they said. 

8. What made you become a foster parent? Ever tried to have kids (through birth)?

This question was floated by a user whose account has since been deleted. The foster parent said, "My wife and I wanted to help kids who were already here but needed to be taken care of because lord knows that there are plenty.  As for having biological children... the world is already so overpopulated. And the fewer bio-kids we have, the more we can foster and adopt. And this way, there is no jealousy from foster kids. Or bio-kids getting annoyed or uneasy about their parents taking in other kids."

9. My perception is that animal rescue gets more attention than child rescue. Is that so? - u/hotaddition1262

They revealed, "No."

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