'Lord, I hope that you will find that I have met my Objectives and deserve a place in Your heavenly home. You know where to find me to further discuss my qualifications.'
An offbeat obituary is making waves on social media this week for the extreme professionalism demonstrated by its author. Beatrice Fediuk, a retired teacher, prepared her own obituary before breathing her last on February 12 at the age of 94 in the style of a resume for 'Eternal Life.' Published by her family in the Passages section of the Free Press in Winnipeg, the businesslike biography featured everything from job experience and references to information on the volunteer work she did throughout her life. "I've seen people who have written their own obits and write funny ones, but Beatrice Fediuk is the first hand in a resume to get to Heaven. She has references, experience, volunteer work and she says if the Lord needs more you know where she is," tweeted Winnipeg Free Press reporter Kevin Rollason, sharing photos of the obituary.
"Dear Lord, Please accept my application for Eternal Life," Fediuk's obituary begins. "My resumé is as follows." Under a subsection titled "objectives," she wrote: "To be honest and compassionate; to treat everyone with respect; to demonstrate integrity in all I do, and to live as independently as possible, as long as possible." In the off chance that God might any references to vouch for the life she's lived, Fediuk provided a lengthy list of loved ones—both alive and dead. "I was born in Fannystelle to loving parents Eugenie and Alfred Hamel, who already has six other children: Aime, Blanche, John, Vincent, Martin and Flore. They, along with my nephew Guy, and my husband John are already with you in Heaven and can provide references for me," she wrote.
Fediuk explained that she is survived by her daughter Michelle and her family, as well as a sister-in-law and a number of nieces and nephews, since "there are no openings for them in Heaven just yet." Next came a section detailing her training, laying out how she got her education and began a career working with children before marrying her husband John in 1951 and giving birth to their daughter 11 years later. Under "experience," Fediuk wrote: "Lord, you know that I never had any 'teacher's pets,' for gifted children already have a greater chance of success. Rather, I put my heart into teaching those with learning challenges, or difficult family situations. It was here that I feel I did my best work."
In addition to teaching, Fediuk spent her life caring for her furbabies—Bozo, Bimbo, and Bijou I and II—traveling with her family and volunteering to help those who needed her help. "Throughout my life, I volunteered at St. Ignatius Parish as well as with the Manitoba Music Festival. After retiring, I continued to volunteer with children who needed extra help and was known as 'Aunty Bea' in St. Ignatius and Rockwood, as well as Central Middle School in Weslaco Texas," she wrote. "When it was discovered that our granddaughter had an intellectual disability, I redirected my efforts to educating myself about her diagnosis, so I could support her in achieving her goals. I loved to cheer her on at soccer games and curling and travelled out of province to watch her synchronized swimming competitions. Our 'penny walks' and rides on the Prairie Dog Central are treasured memories. And Lord, she taught me more about what is important in life than I ever taught her."
Concluding her resume, Fediuk added an "Additional Information" section where she asked God to bless the staff at the senior care center where she spent her final days. "Lord, I hope that you will find that I have met my Objectives and deserve a place in Your heavenly home. You know where to find me to further discuss my qualifications," she wrote. She also urged friends and family to donate to one of her favourite charities—Children's Wish Foundation, Special Olympics Manitoba, Manitoba Harvest or the Winnipeg Humane Society—"so they can continue helping those I cherish."
She sounds like she was heaven on earth 🥰 https://t.co/owRF53yEpB— Roxanne Emery (@roxanneemery) February 21, 2022
And then God said Saint Peter— Turd Ferguson (@turdusferguson) February 20, 2022
“Beatrice Fediuk is on the VIP list, let her cut the line”