Former Columbine student opens her untouched backpack 27 years after high school tragedy
Barker calls it a 'time capsule,' and adds that she has 'trauma-bonded' to the bag
Trigger warning: This article contains themes of gun violence and suicide that some readers may find distressing.
Cindy Barker (@littlestickerhoodshop) was only 15 years old and a freshman at Columbine High School when an event altered her life forever. On April 20, 1999, two high school seniors, Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris, opened fire in the school and took the lives of 14 people, including 13 students and a teacher. 27 years later, Barker is still healing from the traumatic experience, talking and sharing about it online. In her most recent video on April 20, she brought out the backpack she carried to school on that fateful day, giving her followers a glimpse at what a high school freshman had in their bag from the 90s. It also feels like a bittersweet time capsule of an innocence that was lost forever just a few hours after that bag was packed.
Barker clarified in the caption that this was not the first time she had looked through her bag. She occasionally looked through it over the years, but this time, she wanted to share it with her audience. She has kept it exactly how it was 27 years ago. Barker explained that the backpack was returned to her a month after the shooting. She only took out an unopened Lunchable 15 years later, to throw it away. She calls it a "time capsule" and adds that she has "trauma-bonded" to the bag. She is also grateful for having these tangible items helping her process her trauma.
In the backpack, Barker had an Avon Naturals hand and body lotion, two lip balms from YumYum, a Charms Cherry lollipop, a broken compact powder, a pamphlet for toys, her class schedule, little notes that she wrote to her friends, her German work, school notes, a vocabulary book, and a calculator. She also had a binder that was decorated with cut-out photos of celebrities and heartthrobs of the time. She even had notes from 3rd period, which was crazy for her because the shooting started during the 5th period, as she explained.
Columbine High School remains one of the deadliest school shootings in U.S. history, according to CNN’s fast facts. Before the shootings, Klebold and Harris had shown problematic behavior, but it was largely ignored. Both boys took their own lives in the library with the same guns after the shooting.
Since Columbine in 1999, more than 390,000 U.S. students have experienced gun violence at school. That gives the story a direct national-scale context for why survivors like Cindy Barker may still be processing the event decades later. Everytown says an estimated three million children in the U.S. are exposed to shootings each year, and more than 4,400 children and teens are shot annually.
People expressed their condolences for the students who lost their lives in the comments, but also had many questions for Barker. Some asked how she managed school without her notes, and others asked if the school was shut down for the entire year. Others defended Barker's way of dealing with her trauma. @shaymiss_sardine wrote, "I actually think this is a great way to process trauma. No one has the right to tell a survivor how and when they are allowed to heal."
@w_mandyindy commented, "This is like a museum piece. It’s such a normal late 90s, early 2000s high school backpack that it really highlights the way things went so fast from normal to tragedy. Thank you for sharing, and I hope you have found ways that let you carry this history as comfortably as possible."
You can follow Cindy Barker (@littlestickerhoodshop) on Instagram for more updates and sticker-related content.
If you're struggling to cope with grief and need help, please reach out to Crisis Response at 1-800-203-CARE (2273).
More on Scoop Upworthy
Mom teaching 7-year-daughter to play dead in case of school shooting is a tragic reminder of reality
Oklahoma principal who tackled school shooter gets unexpected honor from students at Prom
Share on Facebook
