Father-in-law makes woman cry for keeping her maiden name. The internet claps back: 'This isn't the 1950s'

Sometimes, people have a hard time with those around them just for making simple decisions for themselves. Such situations can make them feel like they are making a mistake. A woman, u/pianohog, felt something similar when her father-in-law tried to force her to give up her maiden name and take his last name instead. The woman had not publicly announced her decision before that incident, so she wondered if she was wrong about it.

The woman got married a year ago and had been wondering if she was wrong in retrospect. "Before we got married, my husband and I talked and agreed that I could keep my current last name. It never occurred to me that I should tell anyone of our decision not to change my last name." The couple had been introduced by their first names during the wedding, and nothing was mentioned about the last name. "I guess I did mention to my new sister-in-law that I was keeping my name... I'm not sure if she told my in-laws intentionally to cause conflict or if she actually didn't realize I hadn't told them," she added. Once the couple returned from their honeymoon, they were invited to her husband's parents' house.

"What I thought was going to be a nice first visit as husband and wife quickly turned into a fight," she recounted. Her father-in-law told her that he needed to have a serious conversation with her. "He began talking about how great and wonderful his last name is and how people will automatically respect me in his community just because I would have the same name as him." She tried to explain that she had several reasons for keeping her last name, including the expenses of changing her name on documents, its uniqueness, and a home business and degrees in the same name.

She also pointed out, "My current last name is unique. I've never met another person outside of my family with it." The daughter-in-law continued, "None of these reasons were good enough for him. He replied that the other daughter-in-law changed her name and that she has the same degree as me, and then my mother-in-law said it didn't cost her any money to change her name."

The woman revealed that the other daughter-in-law went through those procedures years ago and that things have changed since then. "I said I don't feel that I further need to justify my decision to you since you're not listening or understanding my perspective. Now, my father-in-law said that I am insulting him by rejecting his name and that all his friends are going to suspect something is wrong, that I am making a mistake, and that no one will respect me." The woman cried and decided to walk out of the place. "As we were walking out, my father-in-law stood up and threw his hands up in a surrendering gesture, saying, 'I'm just trying to have a conversation.'" People in the comment section supported her.

u/old_motters wrote, "This isn't the 1950's. You're not chattel. You're not required to take any name. My wife didn't. No one was offended. This kind of thing stinks of patriarchy. He needs to wind his neck in and be welcoming to his son's spouse." u/DrMoneybeard commented, "God, I'd be so angry about this. I would be tempted to choose a spite name and change it to that. Like if they have a Scottish name, find out who are their clan's greatest enemies and change it to that. Or like... Jane NotJohnson." u/Such_Guide2828 remarked, "Oh, any future children would definitely have my last name instead of my husband’s after this."