Family therapist shares powerful alternatives to yelling 'be careful' at kids and parents love it

As soon as our little babies learn to walk, they turn into thrill-seekers and want to explore everything around them. Their fast-developing brains push them to take risks like climbing a tree, running at a high speed, playing at heights or simply wandering away from their parents. Especially with risk-loving toddlers and kindergartners, parents get several moments of shock in a day and become too overprotective. Their first instinct would be to yell "be careful" at their little ones but experts say it is not as encouraging as it seems. Emily De La Torre (@midful_madre), a popular marriage and family therapist with over 193k followers on Instagram, posted some better alternatives to yelling "be careful" and parents love it.

The mom of two beautiful girls calls herself a "recovering perfectionist" who has dropped out of the hustle culture and is focused on simplifying parenting for her social media followers. She is ardently involved in slowing down her kids' childhood by homeschooling them and letting them explore nature and the world at their own pace. Torre has posted several videos of her "slow childhood" approach where her two little girls can be seen hiking through the woods, helping their mom in the kitchen, exploring new spaces, learning through play, crafting, baking and even indulging in some risky activities. Apart from a peek into the life of homeschooled kids, the mom's videos have tons of valuable and effective parenting information.

Captioning it "Let's talk risky play," the mom shared her favorite alternatives to yelling "Be careful." "Taking risks is an important part of childhood. Children need this to develop body trust, resilience, confidence and self-regulation. When we foresee possible issues, we want to choose phrases that encourage critical thinking and/or give specific things to notice or do," she wrote. The video shows her daughters amid seemingly risky activities like climbing heights and balancing on the edge which naturally makes parents concerned. In such cases, the mom suggests that instead of asking their children to be careful, parents should say things like: "Do you notice how that side is slippery?" or "Do you notice how weak that branch is?" or "Do you notice how close to the edge you are?" 

"Yelling 'BE CAREFUL!' may be a knee-jerk response, but it often feels like background noise to a kid. It’s so overused and does not give any information on how to proceed, therefore it bears little weight," wrote Torre. She emphasized that gently asking the little ones "What's your plan here" as they do a risky play or reassuring them "I'll be right here as you figure it out" when they are stuck somewhere, deepens creative problem-solving and empowers a child’s sense of self-agency. "The more we allow them to problem solve, the more they can understand the limits of their body. So climb on kiddos!" wrote the enthusiastic mom.

Torre's insights were well-received by parents on Instagram and many could relate to how effective such empowering phrases are. "'What’s your plan here?' has been incredible for us! It’s also funny asking but it helped my son really understand what he is doing and helps trust and confidence when he sees it through," wrote @thegenevievedavis. "I like 'Feel your body,' 'Be mindful of where you're stepping,' 'Do you feel gravity wanting to pull you faster?' 'Use those big strong legs to push against it and slow yourself' to my 2 and 3.5-year-olds as they learn to hike and play at the park," commented @becks0522.