She shared an encounter with a client of hers which highlighted the need for fathers to start participating more in their children's lives.
It doesn't come as a surprise that mothers have way more responsibilities on their shoulders than fathers. From household chores and taking care of the children to managing their school activities, moms are usually the ones who take up a large chunk of parenting. However, a Chicago-based family coach and mom, Lori Sugarman-Li, is trying to change that through her special advice for all parents. She wants mothers to know that they don't need to do it all and would also like for dads to step up, per ScaryMommy. Sugarman-Li posted on Instagram about something she witnessed while talking to a client. She shared, "My client just told me that after our session she is meeting with some school Moms to plan the Father-Daughter Dance. Moms - it's time to release and empower. Dads - plan the dance."
She further explained her viewpoints in the caption writing, "I couldn't begin to tally the number of hours I've put in as a volunteer at my children's schools. Everything from bake sales to book swaps to chairing fundraising galas to being Head of the entire Parents Association. With few (notable and wonderful!) exceptions, I do this soul-nourishing, community-building work with women. It's always a thrilling mix of women from different backgrounds, with diverse insights and expertise and, due to paid work commitments, varying amounts of time to contribute. But we all show up, driven by passion, creative energy and likely a dose of obligation," Sugarman-Li added.
However, she notes that it is about time that fathers put in as much effort into parenting as women do. "Men are surely passionate, absolutely creative, and have endless insights and expertise. What seems to lack is that sense of responsibility," she pointed out. "The notion that this is a space where they belong - are wanted, needed! Can thrive. Can impact their children's journey in such meaningful ways." She concluded her insightful post by writing, "School and community volunteering has for too long been categorized as women's work. Dads - it's time to step in. Plan your dance. Show your daughters you don't think it should all fall on them someday too. Show your sons how to rock this beautiful work."
Sugarman-Li further spoke to Good Morning America about how her client told her that she would be organizing the father-daughter dance and it highlighted the inequality in household responsibilities. “It sort of struck me in that moment, that is representative of so many things and so many examples and so many hours of volunteering that women offer for the benefit of others," she said. She added, "In sharing this example in the post, I really wanted to [highlight] that, in addition to having these important conversations about what goes on in the home, we should also start a conversation about what happens in our community and the weight of that community volunteerism that women carry."
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Mothers on Instagram completely agree with Sugarman-Li about the need for fathers to share responsibilities. @myweirdbliss commented, "I really like this! Yes, to everyone contributing as they are able." @hallie_rosenthal wrote, "Shining the light on a topic that never gets light. Continue to trail blaze my brilliant friend." @shannongriffin expressed, "Amen! Yes! The example this would set for their daughters or sons. Daughters seeing how they should be treated and that their mothers were with someone they trusted enough to let go and hand tasks over to. Sons see that they should be someone who earns enough trust from their partners to take on these tasks. This is just so different than the way I was raised and it's a beautiful thing to see, especially having a 16-month-old."