Their families were forcing them to have two weddings with extra guests and wanted to weigh in on everything from bridesmaids to the wedding dress.
Editor's note: This article was originally published on February 17, 2023. It has since been updated.
When a couple plans their wedding, no doubt, it is exhausting. On top of that, it is annoying to handle intrusive family members. They have the last say in all decisions, but it becomes overwhelming when others start to intervene in the decision processes. This couple was entirely fed up with their relatives attempting to prepare every detail without consulting them, which eventually coerced them to cancel everything and secretly get married. What happened next is also utterly frustrating. The incident was shared on Reddit by the husband, aka u/AITA-acc3999.
He wrote that their "families were excited to share our special day and they came up with suggestions during the wedding planning phase which was a complete nightmare." Both families sent long lists of guests when I told them they needed to cut down the list cause we couldn't afford many people. Both families refused and tried to exclude each other. The wedding date got rescheduled several times cause both families couldn't agree on a specific date. This went on for 6 months!" There was a different drama on the bridesmaids, as the groom's sister wanted to be a part of it, but the bride had already decided.
"They argued about everything from the music to the menu, I had a family member write My own speech for me saying he was helping. And Mom wanted my wife to buy the wedding dress she liked," he added. "My parents insisted to have the wedding in our hometown. While my in-laws demanded to have it in their town. Every night they'd call with ultimatums making this their hill to die on." He said that one day they decided to elope and "made proper arrangements for this to happen without our families knowing. Our parents kept calling to ask about the wedding."
When they revealed to the families that they had married already, everyone was in shock. The man shared, "My sister immediately took a seat. My mother-in-law blew up and started yelling asking how we could do this to them and acting so selfishly toward the people who wanted to share our joy. Now we took that away from them and asked what their guests were going to think after what we pulled." The couple said they tried to keep everyone happy, but it took a toll on them. He added, "Mom told me to stop calling her my wife she's not my wife since to them 'we didn't get married' yet and demanded we start planning the wedding and send out invitations to celebrate in both towns that way both families are happy."
He concluded by saying, "I just walked out with my wife and they kept calling and texting (no social media though) to get us to do it. Still insisting, we are not yet married and will never be til we have not one but two official weddings." He asked if he did wrong by handling this situation that way, but everyone said that he did the right thing. A Reddit user u/Bookish4269 said, "They don’t get to decide when you two are 'officially married,' or demand two weddings that would only drive both of you crazy with the stress and conflict. Good job taking back control of a situation that should be all about you and your wife and what you both want." "You must admit you made a serious mistake in believing that your wedding was supposed to be about the wishes of you and your wife instead of the wishes of everyone in your families," Reddit user u/hilRiverStreet180.