Expert says science can predict if your relationship will last — it all comes down to one thing men dread

It’s common to think that lasting relationships depend on shared interests, similar backgrounds or even compatible personalities. But one TikTok creator is challenging that idea with a different kind of insight. In a recent video, the creator @in.a.pod.ai says science can actually predict relationship success, and the secret lies in something called "perceived commitment." According to the creator, a study of couples revealed that personality traits or shared hobbies were not the most accurate predictors of relationship longevity. Instead, the strongest indicator was perceived commitment. It is the belief that your partner is genuinely in it for the long haul. 

He illustrates this idea by comparing two fictional couples: Blake and Morgan, and Alex and Landry. On the surface, Blake and Morgan seem perfectly matched. They laugh easily together, talk often about how alike they are, and love the same things. But because their relationship lacks perceived commitment, the creator says it’s more likely to fall apart. In contrast, Alex and Landry don’t see eye to eye on everything. They differ in religion, education, and lifestyle. Still, their relationship thrives because they both believe their partner is committed to a future together.

Perceived commitment, he explains, is something you can actively strengthen. The key is to be specific with your affection. Rather than vague phrases like "I love you," he encourages people to say things like "I’m excited for our trip next summer" or "I’m looking forward to building a life with you." These types of statements reinforce the idea of a shared future and send stronger signals of long-term intention.

He also emphasizes the importance of consistent follow-through. Keeping small promises builds trust. Showing up reliably in everyday situations creates a foundation for longer-term security. Another strategy he suggests is to build shared rituals. "Basically, create date nights that assume a future with your partner, have monthly planning sessions for an annual vacation, plan out a meal for an upcoming holiday, or work together towards a longer-term goal," he says. He concludes the video by saying, "Prioritizing this type of love will help ground you and your partner in a shared future and ensure that you both have the psychological safety and meaningful commitment that you need to build a strong relationship."

Writing for Daily Dot, author Summer Neylon remarked that she "could not find such a study" from Princeton. "However, a study published by the National Institutes of Health in 2024 suggests an opposing scenario of perceived commitment. This fact check isn’t intending to debunk any relationship advice from @in.a.pod.ai. There’s also a study out of Loyola University in Chicago that assesses self-esteem as a factor in these commitment practices. The point is, take all this information with a grain of salt. No two relationships are the same!" she remarked.

The video reached over 26,000 people, and people had mixed opinions about the theory. @grownuppod agreed with it, saying, "Wait, I love this. So many people focus on the qualities of a person and not their intentions. I will be keeping this in mind!" @cog.sprocket said, "Stability comes from people who aren't here for a good time, but they are here for a long time." Others didn't quite agree. @tootiefruit5 wrote, "Like they might be getting married, but are they staying married? That’s the real question." @thepianogoddess joked, "I had highly perceived low commitment with my ex." @anne_g_13 added, "Did this but somehow didn’t work out," to which @in.a.pod.ai replied, "You can be confident in the fact that you were doing all the right things at least. Eventually, it’ll lead to success. :)"

You can follow In a Pod (@in.a.pod.ai) for more science-backed relationship facts.