This friendship coach talks about how crucial it is to differentiate between missing someone and needing to get them back into your life.
Friendships, like any other relationships, can face challenges and undergo changes over time. Sometimes, the desire to rekindle a friendship with someone from the past can be strong, but it's essential to approach this process thoughtfully and intentionally. Danielle Bayard Jackson—who goes on TikTok by @thefriendshipexpert—a friendship coach, provides valuable insights into what individuals should consider when rekindling a friendship via a video on TikTok. Her expertise sheds light on the complexities of reconnecting with old friends and navigating the path toward healthier, more fulfilling connections.
Jackson begins her advice by emphasizing the importance of reflecting on past interactions and potential unresolved issues. She cautions that if there is still lingering harm or unresolved conflicts from previous encounters, rekindling the friendship may not be the best course of action. As she succinctly puts it, "When it comes to reuniting, if you still feel a lack of resolution about any harm that was caused the first go around, you might want to tread lightly when re-engaging with the same friendship."
She goes on to add, "If anything, it might make things worse, right? Cause you have hope that things will be better but you haven't healed over them yet. So if somebody still hasn't said an apology, if there is still lingering resentment - even a little bit - you wanna be careful about kickstarting things again."
Building on the notion of resolution, Jackson emphasizes the significance of allowing sufficient time and space for healing. She mentions that genuine healing involves having conversations about why the friendship faced challenges in the first place. Additionally, she stresses the importance of having a plan or template for what one hopes the renewed friendship will look like moving forward.
This plan should include considerations for what will be different this time, ensuring that the rekindled friendship has the potential to be not only different but better than before. In her words, "What's gonna be different? I need you to understand very clearly that just because you miss someone, it doesn't necessarily serve as an indicator that things should be revived. Honestly, ask yourself - what's different from the first time this time, that offers the promise that things will be not only different but better than before."
Jackson's last piece of advice revolves around managing expectations during the rekindling process. She emphasizes that rekindling a friendship is not a one-time decision. Rather, it should be a gradual and natural progression. Even if the chemistry between friends remains intact, the process of reconnecting should unfold at a realistic and manageable pace. She encourages individuals to check in with themselves throughout the process, allowing room to get to know the new versions of each other and assess what the friendship looks like the second time around.
As she aptly states, "It should be a slow and natural progression back into things, even if your chemistry remains the same." She continues, "So check in with yourself throughout the process of hanging out. Maybe not going from 0 to 60 and allowing yourself the space to get to know these new versions of yourself, to see what it looks like the second time around."
Rekindling a friendship can be a beautiful and meaningful endeavor. However, as this friendship coach, advises, it's crucial to approach this journey with thoughtful consideration. Assessing past resolutions, allowing for healing and growth, and managing expectations are key elements in successfully rekindling a friendship. By following these insights, individuals can navigate the process with grace and intention, fostering connections that are not only different but better than before.