Expectant dad seeks advice for making childbirth easier for his partner. He got the best of the best

Editor's note: This article was originally published on January 20, 2023. It has since been updated.

Childbirth has always been a very alienating and confusing topic for new dads. Most of them haven't got a clue about what labor and birth will be like except for what they have seen on TV or in movies. No, you don't step out of the room looking like a runway model after you have just given birth to a little human being. Labor is tedious and excruciatingly painful, and sometimes the pain stays longer than you think it does. The whole process may end very quickly for some, but for others, the baby likes to take its own sweet time. When labor does happen, dads can feel overwhelmed and clueless about how best to help and support their partner. Not wanting to be little more than decor in the labor room, one soon-to-be dad turned to Twitter for advice.

"A big question for anyone who has given birth: What is one thing that your partner did, said, or brought to the hospital that really helped you through your birth experience?" tweeted Dave Whiteside, a research consultant in Waterloo, Ontario, Canada. "Expecting dad hoping to support his wife in the best ways possible here ready to take notes."

Even after reading parenting books and blogs, Whiteside told TODAY, he and his wife are looking for real-life perspectives. "I thought, rather than hearing from the dads who confidently assumed they nailed it, I wanted to hear from the moms who knew their partner nailed it," he explained. 

Twitter parents were summoned and as always, they did not disappoint. Some suggest that Whiteside should keep necessities like food, water and a phone charger on him at all times. To make the initial days with a newborn easier on his wife and to spend quality time with their newborn, Whiteside was advised to take care of washing, diapering, and, if necessary, feedings.

Additionally, he was urged to learn about car seat safety before the delivery. "That ride home is going to be the most anxious one of her life," @rachdol tweeted. "Do what you can to feel confident in this one area." People also appreciated Whiteside for his forthcoming attitude in asking valid questions regarding childbirth.

Whiteside also spoke transparently of the many hurdles they faced with childbirth in the past saying, "We had two miscarriages in 2022 and I spoke very openly about our experiences on social media. Now I want to make sure I speak openly about our experiences with pregnancy too. My wife is more of an introvert, but together, we agree that it’s important people talk about these experiences to help others feel a little less alone." He also acknowledged that he gathered a lot of knowledge from this Twitter survey. 

"One big takeaway is how important it is for partners to advocate for moms," he said. "And there have been funny reminders of how different people are — some suggested that I write my wife a poem and while I love that this works for some couples, I’m pretty sure she would divorce me on the spot."