Exhausted commuter gains support after refusing to yield train seat to 'frazzled' mom

For anyone traveling by metro or regular train in a tier-I or metropolitan city, it’s common to encounter fellow commuters who might ask for a seat, especially during peak hours like early mornings or late evenings. These interactions often involve exhausted co-passengers. Such was the case for a 28-year-old man, u/FickleDragonfruit621, who shared his experience on Reddit. In his now-deleted post, he recounted an incident where a “frazzled” mom expected him to give up his seat on a packed train, but he chose not to, leaving her standing.

“I commute home from work every day on a crowded train. It’s always packed, and getting a seat feels like winning the lottery,” he wrote. “Last Friday, I had an especially exhausting day—back-to-back meetings, skipped lunch, and stayed late to finish a project. By the time I got on the train, I was running on fumes.” Fortunately, he managed to snag a seat near the door and hoped to “zone out for the 40-minute ride home.” But his plan quickly unraveled. “A few stops later, a woman (mid-30s) got on with two small kids, maybe 4 and 6. She looked frazzled, juggling bags and trying to keep the kids calm. The train was standing-room only,” he shared.

The woman glanced at the man, expecting him to vacate the unreserved seat. He explained, “I hesitated, but I was so drained I didn’t move. I wasn’t rude—I just looked out the window and avoided eye contact.” This didn’t sit well with the woman. After about 10 minutes, she said loudly, “Some people have no manners these days.” People sitting nearby looked at the man expectantly, but he didn’t give up his seat due to his exhaustion. “A guy further down eventually offered her his seat, and she made a big show of thanking him while glaring at me,” the man added.

The whole situation made him feel “awful,” and he admitted to being frustrated by the interaction. “I work long hours, and I rarely ask for anything. Is it wrong to prioritize my own exhaustion over someone else’s needs? I wasn’t in her shoes, but it’s not like I made her bring her kids on a packed train,” he reflected. To his surprise, his partner had a different opinion. “My girlfriend thinks I should have given up my seat, saying, ‘It’s just basic decency,’” he explained. However, his best friend disagreed, siding with him by arguing that he wasn’t “obligated” to give up his seat, and that being tired was a valid reason to stay seated.

Meanwhile, the man found support from the Reddit community, as people shared their views on the matter. u/Casinah remarked, “It’s a kindness to offer a seat, not obligatory. If she’d been disabled or elderly, it’d be a different story.” u/WritingYogi opined, “It’s courtesy, but since you were frazzled yourself and depleted, completely understandable. Sometimes, you have to self-care.” u/x_buttercup_x shared, “Every single day, there’s always someone like this on the train. If you want a seat, maybe just ask. But also, nobody is obliged to give up their seat. First come, first serve—that’s a thing.”