She was boyfriend's plus one but they broke up a month before his sister's wedding. He invited her again just to reject her
Rina Baumgartner was hoping to get to know her ex-boyfriend's family
A breakup does not automatically erase the plans a couple made for the future. Rina Baumgartner (@rinabaum) had RSVP'd yes to her ex-boyfriend's sister's wedding towards the end of August, but almost a month before the wedding, they broke up and went no-contact. When he reached out and asked if they could go as "best friends," she agreed. They decided to meet before the wedding as a "trial" to see if they could get along, but she did not expect the meet-up to unfold the way it did. The post was shared on August 18, and it received 1,500 likes and 485 comments.
Trial meeting
Baumgartner was looking forward to the "trial" meeting after her ex-boyfriend said he missed her. They planned to get some drinks, but ended up just chilling because he had a bad mental health day. When he brought up the wedding, she was surprised that he wanted to go alone. His reason was that having his ex-girlfriend around would take away the attention from his sister's special day. Baumgartner recalled, "He didn’t want to worry about having to entertain me and that it was a family event...my presence would hinder his ability to support his sister." Baumgarter was bummed out, but understood where he was coming from.
No longer invited
Even though Baumgartner understood, she was still hurt. She had been invited and disinvited in just a span of a few days. She had looked forward to getting to know his family and defended herself, saying, "I’m not a shy person. I can hold my own in social situations, so he wouldn’t have to babysit me." She reiterated that she understood his reasons, but couldn't help thinking it was a "d*ck move." "I just feel like I’ll resent him for this and our friendship/relationship will always be tarnished," she said.
Wedding invite game
Inviting and uninviting someone to a wedding seems to be a recipe for unnecessary drama. A 2018 YouGov survey found that 53% of Americans believed you can uninvite people to weddings after inviting them, but only if there's a good reason. 8% believed it was always okay to univite someone, while 24% said it's not. 56% of men compared to 51% of women said it was okay to uninvite someone after inviting them. Baumgartner's ex-boyfriend believed he had good reasons to uninvite her, but it does not mean her feelings were not hurt.
Emotional labor
People in the comment section had mixed opinions. Some told Baumgartner to stay home since they were not dating anymore, while others believed he just wanted to be mean to her one last time. @justcallmenii_ commented, "This is why people out here saying you can only have a +1 if you’re married." @kamilahchevel pointed out, "You spent your 'trial day' after no contact dealing with his bad mental health day. So already you’re back in the position of doing emotional labor? F*ck the family, f*ck the wedding, f*ck him, and stop auditioning for this loser trying to prove yourself."
You can follow Rina Baumgartner (@rinabaum) on Threads for more lifestyle content.
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