Team lead makes an insensitive 'joke', but employee’s decision to quit gains online support

Some managers and bosses often make us squirm with crude jokes, but some lines just should not be crossed. One employee shared how he quit his job after a manager made an insensitive 'joke' about a recent grief.

u/Mow_Medow4460 shared a story revolving around a new manager who could not resist making an insensitive "joke" at his workplace. The 26-year-old employee who worked in a mid-sized tech company for 2 years made a difficult decision after the incident. Addressing him as 'Dan', the employee revealed that the new lead was someone who often crossed boundaries in the name of "being friendly."

"Dan is the kind of guy who tries really hard to be everyone’s buddy, but he constantly crosses boundaries. He teases people in meetings, mocks accents, and makes inappropriate jokes. HR had already spoken to him once, but nothing changed," the author revealed. However, one incident shook the entire team and left the author making a difficult choice in his career. Recalling the incident, the author revealed that he was presenting an internal tool he had developed to automate a reporting task. While the presentation was going smoothly. Dan cut him in between and commented, "Wow, maybe if your mom had this kind of system when she was alive, she’d still be around!"

The employee had lost his mother a year ago due to a sudden heart attack, and it was something the employee was still struggling to come to terms with. He noted that he briefly remembered mentioning it to the same manager, but never expected him to remember. When the employee heard the comment, he froze for a second, while a few other employees in the meeting laughed nervously. The author immediately snapped back, "That's not okay." Dan tried to brush it off, asking the employee not to be "too sensitive" and to take it as a "joke", but the employee ended the call and simply walked out. The following morning, the author emailed HR and explained the situation, while also submitting his resignation immediately. He did not even bother asking for his remaining PTO payout. He just wanted to leave the toxic workplace.

According to a 2024 study published by Fatin Khalil Ibrahim, the researcher explored public perceptions of humor's boundaries, particularly concerning sensitive topics like grief. The study revealed that the majority of respondents believe humor should have limits, especially regarding sensitive subjects such as religion, politics, and physical appearances. The findings also highlighted the importance of context and sensitivity when addressing topics related to personal loss and grief.

While his siblings had mixed reactions to his quitting his job, fellow Reddit users supported the author's decision. u/Firebird562 commented, "If that company were worth your time, someone from HR or upper management would have contacted you to convince you to come back, with a suitable explanation of consequences for Dan. You’ll be fine. NTJ."

u/Ok-Listen-8519 commented, "What company is this? You should put a review up on glassdoor. NTJ. Just to share, Im still sore about my dad’s passing 17 years later. Grief is complex. Dan is a huge JERK." u/CandyCoatedCutie48 wrote, "Nah mate, NTA. Dude was way outta line. Losing ur job sucks, but dang... putting up with that BS? Nah. Hold ur head high, bro. Karma's a b**** & Dan's gonna get his. Keep pushing, you'll land on ur feet."

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