Divorced woman shares the one thing she would never again do for a relationship

Some decisions change the course of a person's life. It might not seem in the moment, but looking back, the person can easily connect the dots. Such decisions might make a person wish they had put more thought into them. A woman touched upon this topic when she wrote about how a sacrifice for her marriage changed her life and why she would never do it again. She also expressed that she wished she had given more thought to the decision. The woman named Colleen Sheehy Orme, a journalist, shared her story on Medium with the title, "I would never do this again for a man."

Orme shared that when she was newly married, her husband asked her a question, "Will you quit your job and build the business with me?" She said yes without a second thought. She wished she had taken a moment to think about it, but she was used to being the one to "fix and rescue." She left all her dreams behind and agreed to help her partner, her college sweetheart and the love of her life. At that point in her life, it did not feel like as big of a sacrifice as it really was. Orme pointed out that it would have been okay if her husband had considered how big her sacrifice was.

The journalist highlighted how, in a healthy relationship, men and women alternate between giving and taking to ensure a balance. Otherwise, it turns into a "giver" and "taker" relationship, which the woman shared with her husband. In her relationship, her husband would have an ask and she would immediately fulfill it without thinking about herself. The woman gave her all to the business even though she found the industry boring. She eventually learned everything, accepted it and started loving it. But she did all of it for her husband and not for herself. She pointed out how once their business was thriving, her husband should have asked her, "You have made a massive sacrifice for me. What's important to you?"

But the man never asked the question or recognized how big of a sacrifice his wife made for him. In fact, during their marriage and even after their divorce, the husband never recognized his wife's work or appreciated her for leaving everything behind. During the divorce, Orme said, he told her that she "bit the hand that fed [her]. How could [she] dare leave The Golden Goose? How could [she] be so ungrateful?" Orme had realized her sacrifice and the value it held for her husband when their marriage was in turmoil.

She told one friend, "I'm going to keep pursuing my dreams. I gave that away to a man years ago. I may never have this opportunity again. I've already sacrificed too much for him." The woman got published in great publications like "Washington Magazine" and became a business journalist and relationship journalist. She finally achieved her dream and got her ambition back. But it didn't change that she had let go of her ambition and even became financially vulnerable because of her husband.

She was an independent woman before everything changed with her marriage. However, she admitted she couldn't fully blame her ex-husband because she willingly walked away from her dreams to help build his. Because Orme and her husband were two extremes, they were never evenly matched, something their marriage counselor and psychologist had confirmed. She expressed how her husband could have asked anything of her because he knew the answer was always going to be "yes."