Divorced woman chose mental peace over her own daughters, asks if she was wrong

There could be several reasons why relationships end. But eventually, it is necessary for the parties involved to find peace in their lives. However, when it's a separation or divorce between two parents, there's the future of children to think about. It introduces a wave of instability and insecurity in the child's life, leading to confusion, sadness or even anger. So when a woman–who goes by u/Ok_Ostrich5154 on Reddit–wanted to divorce her husband, her teen daughters couldn't fathom the idea and threatened not to see her again. However, the woman prioritized her peace and the internet backed her up.

Around 3 months ago, the wife came to know that her husband had cheated on her with two different women both times she was pregnant. Before this devastating news, theirs was a "happy family" and she lauded her husband for being a "great dad" to her two daughters, who are now 14 and 16. Now that she wanted to part ways with her disloyal husband, her daughters came in the way. "They know the reason we are getting a divorce and that he had two affairs with two women but not all the details. They are opposed to the idea of divorce anyway and they threatened to never see me again if I went through with it because the offense happened so long ago," the concerned mother of the teens explained.

Though she could understand that her teen daughters' reaction came from the fact they didn't want their lives to change, the woman simply dreaded the idea of being under the same roof as her husband. "I can't even look at him. Nothing is working. Therapy is not working and they are adamant about never seeing me again. I haven't seen them in two months," the worried mother wrote. It turns out the couple rented a studio apartment and took turns living in their house with the girls while the other lived in the studio apartment. "The girls refuse to stay with me at the house during my weeks, but they stay in the studio with my husband," she said. 

Even after the divorce, the girls were assured of a comfortable abode no matter which parent they chose to stay with. But what disappointed the mom was how the girls loved only their father. "Before all this, they were close to both of us and loved us equally. Now they only love him," she mentioned. "Last week, they made it clear that if I filed for divorce, they would never see me again. I said I was never going back to him and they said I made my choice and they will never see me again," she concluded. While she wondered if her stern decision was right, the internet came to her support.

"They're young and scared, which equals poor decisions. They understand that their dad did something bad, but in child logic, you are the one causing the problem because you are the one who wants to change things. Hopefully, they'll figure it out with therapy sooner rather than later," said u/DerpDevilDD. "It is possible to do everything right and still be hated. I'm sorry you have to go through this, but I do support your choice. You're going to have grief no matter what you do. May as well have grief for doing the right thing versus screwing up," pointed out u/phred0095. "Move forward with your life. Keep the door open for them, but it might be years before they come back - if at all. They don't understand the gravity of their ultimatum," added u/is76.