'Disruptive' student who made teacher's life hell emails him after 20 years — with an unexpected message

A teacher recently shared on Reddit how a former student had tracked him down two decades later with an email that was equal parts apology and reflection. Shared on August 31, the post by u/Silly-Power has gained 9.6k upvotes so far. It describes how one of his old students, now nearing 40, admitted that he hadn’t left the best impression in class. "If you do remember me, I feel that it wasn’t in a positive light," he wrote, "While a student of yours, I went through some horrendous life changes. But none of them was your fault. Yet, I took it upon myself to be as disruptive and disrespectful as possible. To you, as well as your class and teaching methods."

He admitted that time and age had molded his perspective and that he’d been searching for a way to reach out. "As a man nearing 40, I have tried to search for you often to offer you a genuine apology," he continued, "You were a good man to not pummel the heck out of me even though I probably deserved it then." The former student also reflected on how much he had grown and how grateful he was that his teacher had stayed in education. "I am also happy to find you have found yourself somewhere that needs a good, encouraging teacher in this day and age," he wrote, closing the message with, "I am sorry, sir."

His genuine apology and the lengths he went to in tracking his teacher down after all these years clearly show an act of repentance and catharsis. It also highlights the kind of impact a teacher can have on a student long after the classroom days are over, and research supports it. A 2020 review by the American Psychological Association found that strong teacher–student relationships not only shape academic performance in the moment but they can also leave enduring emotional effects that carry into adulthood, fostering resilience, empathy, and long-term well-being. "The urge for relatedness, or the sense of connection to others, may be a strong motivator for behavior that supports interpersonal connections in educational settings," Xue Wang writes in a paper.

The teacher admitted the message had deeply affected him. "It’s gratifying and touching to find out I had a positive effect on someone that has lasted 25 years (and counting). I’m still processing it, tbh. I will reply, but first I have to think about what to say. He deserves a bit more than 'no prob, all good,'" he added in the comments. People on Reddit were just as moved by the gesture. u/Lucky-old-boy commented, "Looks like that guy has done some work on himself and is looking to make amends, good for him." u/zyzmog wrote, "It's neat that he wrote you that letter. Clearly, the man he is now is not the boy he was then. And it's the man who's reaching out. This is exciting."

u/nailpolishbonfire said, "He's the only one who reached out, but you can rest assured you have many more students who think of you, too. I struggled in school, but I'm good now, and I often think of my teachers, what they were going through, what I was going through, and how good a job they did with what they had." u/jossybabes added, "I have also received a note like this and did reply along the lines of: 'You were just trying to figure things out, just like every single one of the people in the room. Your letter shows that you have found a positive path. Use this knowledge of life as a teenager to help kids who don’t have a positive role model.'"

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