Dinner party guests left baffled when host expects them to pay for meal: 'Didn’t do this for free

Inviting friends to dinner parties is pretty common, but what if the host asks their friends to pay for hosting the dinner? That's what happened with u/jennysaysfu. The woman shared on Reddit that a friend in her group hosted a dinner for everyone and then asked them to transfer money to her for doing that. The woman felt it was unfair to do so and asked people on the platform if she was wrong for not wanting to pay for it. 

She revealed in her post that a friend had invited her friend's group of seven people to a dinner party at her house a few weeks ago. As a courtesy, she asked the host if she should bring something. The friend refused and told her that she was making dinner for everyone. She shared, "The food was good. During the meal, we were all laughing and called our friend a chef because she made a big dinner for all of us. We all said how much we appreciated it because it's hard to get everyone together at the same time." At the end of the dinner, they all helped the host with cleaning and washing dishes.

As everyone was leaving, the host told everyone not to forget to Venmo/ Cash app or Zelle her. "Some of us were confused because we had no idea what we had to send her. So I asked her, 'What am I sending you money for?' and she said for cooking dinner." The woman was stunned to hear her response. So, she reiterated, "I don't understand why we should pay?" The friend responded that it was because she spent money and hosted the dinner. "None of us asked you to. You volunteered to do it and never mentioned paying until now," the woman told the host. She immediately responded that she didn't do it for free.

The woman said, "You should've told us before you hosted that you expected this. I don't think it's fair to just bring this up and expect people to pay." The friend said she didn't spend hours grocery shopping and cooking for free. The woman said, "I have never heard of this. Like ever. We kept arguing and after a while, I just Venmo'd her the $40 she asked for." She added that she didn't think she was wrong and some of her friends agreed, while others told her that it's normal to pay for dinner after a dinner party.

People in the comments supported her for calling out her friend. u/saucusse commented, "$40 is a bummer, but in the long run, it's a small price to pay to learn that your friend is tacky, cheap, has bad manners, and has no social intelligence whatsoever. Consider it part of the cost of doing business as an adult, and handle your relationship with her in the future accordingly." u/tdluxon wrote, "Obviously, when you go out to dinner, it's totally normal to split the bill, I've never been asked for money by someone that invited me over for dinner at their house... that's definitely not normal."

u/interesting-laugh589 shared, "You don't ask for money after. And if you're hosting, then it's your responsibility to take care of the costs. I've never heard of anyone asking their guests to pay unless I'm in another country and it's a cultural thing. I wouldn't have sent her money. She chose what food she was making and how long that would take. She chose to host. No one asked her to do this." u/dazed1984 expressed, "I would never invite people over and expect them to pay. For her not to mention this in advance is just rude. $40 per person sounds like a lot as well. I don't know who these people who have told you this is normal, certainly not where I am!"

In an update post, the woman shared that the friends' group spoke to the host the next day, trying to explain their side of things. However, the friend stuck to her belief that it was fair on her part to charge them. In the end, one of their friends asked the friend who hosted if she would apologize and she refused. So, they all decided to cut her off. "We left her in the group chat for a little bit before we blocked her though so she could see what we were saying about her," she wrote.