'Like any good card-carrying, Ray-Ban wearing, camo coverall lovin' redneck, Kenne had 3 true loves: hunting, fishing, and drinking,' writes Milner.
Obituaries usually have beautiful things written about the deceased person or some inspirational story of how the person touched the lives of others. However, that's not what Halliea Milner decided to write about her father, who passed away on March 2, 2023. She wrote a clever and sarcastic obituary for her "camo coverall lovin' redneck" dad, reports TODAY.
Kenneth Kenne Joseph Pluhar, Jr Alton, Milner's father, died in ICU at the age of 62 after battling with sepsis. "After 50 years of crap-starting with everyone and everything he could find to fight in Alton, IL, this hard as nails, redneck, SOB finally found something meaner and more stubborn than himself," writes Milner.
She continued, "Like any good card-carrying, Ray-Ban wearing, camo coverall lovin' redneck, Kenne had 3 true loves: hunting, fishing, and drinking." Milner added that "like every sad cowboy song, he couldn't stay married" despite trying again and again. Referring to herself as the daughter "he was extremely proud of," she wrote that it was "mostly because she is almost as big of a pain in the a** as he was, and she kept the pain-in-the-a** line going by giving him his only grandchild, Sidnee Milner."
"He was preceded in death by his mother, Connie Sue (McKinnon) Donnelson, who, til the day he died, he called 'his mommy' - proof positive that even the biggest a**holes have a soft side, you just may have to dig deeper to find it," Milner shared. She revealed that her dad's father is "still around, though, and was sure to teach Kenne the best ways to be emotionally unavailable and yet overly sensitive, all rolled into one. It's a strong family trait passed down generation to generation."
"Sharing in the Pluhar family heritage are Kenne's siblings - all of whom managed to outlive him, which is no surprise seeing as he was equal parts daredevil and lush - I mean, seriously, he probably invented the phrase - 'Hey, y'all, watch this'," continued Milner. She added that it was a miracle seeing that they all loved him till the end despite him taking the idea of being "hard to love" as a personal challenge.
Milner also shared that her dad "had a green thumb, was outdoorsy and was a skilled carpenter - this meant that he was great at growing his own weed and was champion of 'hide and seek for $2k a week' when he worked for the union. He actually was a halfway decent carpenter - people bragged about his 'craftsmanship' - if you could convince him to show up and work, which most people weren't capable of accomplishing."
She added that her late father spent the last 5 decades on his buddy's farm and that his "best friend AKA Mike Norris actually owned the farm. Kenne was good at just about anything he tried to be good at and was wicked smart - but that didn't stop him from trying his best to do absolutely nothing except drink, smoke and listen to music."
She concluded the obituary with strict guidelines for the party celebrating his life. "Doors open at 5:30, there will be food [and] beer that you don't have to pay for (Kenne's favorite) at 6:00 and people will start talking crap about Kenne and his life around 7. Although there will be music and mayhem, don't plan to stay too long; we are going to kick you out at 10 pm. Save your money - please don't send anything (flowers, donations, etc); take a trip to the Dollar Store in Kenne's honor instead."
Milner told TODAY that she wanted to memorialize him characteristically, so she wrote the obituary in a way that would make him proud. Talking about his father, she said that they were great friends. "I remember him being upset with me only two times in my life—once when I was 7 and I (accidentally) punched him in the nose and again when I said he couldn't leave the nursing home until he got oxygen in his house. He was more stern with other people but a very caring father," she revealed.