While dating someone new people often have the tendency to ignore warning signs but this expert thinks they should be identified very early on.
The thought of dating makes a lot of people nervous. We often wonder if we are wearing the right outfit or if we have arrived at our designated meeting spot on time. However, most of us overlook a crucial thing and this is to spot some early signs and judge if the person is right for us or not. The red flags or negative attributes are not something that we should take lightly or ignore despite noticing them. So, professional dating coach Jacob Lucas—who goes by @jacoblucas101 on TikTok—is raising some important pointers on this topic through his videos.
In one of his recent videos, Lucas talked about five distinct red flags in dating that one should never ignore. Lucas, who is a UK-based professional dating coach and author of a guidebook titled "Her Dating Coach" starts off the video by advising women to be aware of certain red flags while dating a man in particular. "Number one: they will tell you secrets about their life that will make you feel pity for them early on. People who have genuinely been through hard times very rarely share them with people who they just met," he says at the beginning.
This first red flag is where men take note of how their date reacts to their sob story and based on their reaction, the man then decides if the woman is easy to manipulate or not. Lucas talks about the second red flag when the guy starts badmouthing his ex. How they speak of their previous relationship says a lot about a person's character. "It's a red flag if he calls his ex crazy, blames them for everything or overshares their relationship with you when he's only just met you. It shows that he's socially unaware because he should know that you don't want to talk about his ex when you just met him," Lucas continues.
He moves on to the third point where the dating coach mentions the kind of men who are indecisive. "Number three: he's indecisive. You'll be the one planning all the dates and you'll be the one making all the big decisions in the relationship because that person can't make their mind up about anything and it will get exhausting for you," he says. The fourth red flag that one absolutely needs to spot in their dates is how an individual talks about their friends.
"Number four: he talks badly about his friends. He is the one who freely chooses to hang out with these people. And if he's calling them idiots, nine out of 10 times he's going to be an idiot himself - birds of a feather flock together," Lucas clarifies. The fifth and final red flag is one thing none of us should ignore while dating someone new. We often speak about matching our vibes with our partner and if the person we are dating has a polar opposite mindset, then there is no possibility of forming a healthy relationship ahead.
"If you are open-minded and you'd like to grow as a person and you have ambition, and you started dating a man who has none of these traits, then you will not work as a couple. This is because you either grow together or you grow apart," Lucas addresses the final red flag. Lucas's video went viral as several people dropped in to comment about their individual experiences with dating and most of them agreed with the pointers presented by him.
@ora1989 wrote: "I just dated a guy that shared too much of his ex and about his bad relationship with his mother and father, he still didn’t heal his childhood." @heybeckyj commented: "I filtered these early on during the texting stage and without even talking. Most people never get the chance. I don't have time to waste. I am a busy girl." @irishorrorfan applauded Lucas's words and wrote: "You either grow together or you grow apart! That is going in my self-improvement notebook!"
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@ellevee16 remarked: "Great list. People, don’t ignore these flags as much as you’re physically attracted to the person. Also, the way they treat others speaks volumes." @denice2204 shared: "I have literally just stopped something with a guy because he was being 'too good' but the first 3 are exactly what he did the first week I knew him." @password_funny added: "Male friendships I have seen are kind of creepy. They look for each other approval for the female they date. Do you not have your own head to decide?"