Dating coach advises women to date 'alphabet' man over alpha and beta guys: 'Best of both'

Every time a woman is asked about her definition of the perfect man, she inadvertently ends up describing an alpha male. In her subconscious, she believes him to be the manliest man ever who will sweep her right off her feet, says relationship strategist Princella from Princella The Queen Maker in a video on TikTok. Stitching a clip from that, dating coach Anwar White—who goes by @datingcoachanwar on TikTok—explains why alpha men aren't great to date and who should you be dating instead. No, it is not beta men who are believed to have characteristics directly opposite to alpha males.

White went on to explain how alpha men think in a viral video. He said, "Alpha men think that they are the prize, and when they want to lead you, it automatically means that you will have to follow them or chase them while you're with them." Referring to Princella's video, he stated: "As she was saying before, a man that is alpha is alpha for other men. So if you're with an alpha man, he is gonna treat you like one of his men and try to control you." What he wants for women, in his own words is, "I want you to be with a man who is in his true masculinity which is very different. We actually call true masculine men alphabets, cause it's a bit alpha, a bit beta. It's the best of both. So you wanna get with alphabet men. That's what I want for you."

The dating coach then goes on to elaborate on the differences between an alpha man and an alphabet man. He says, "Well, the difference between an alpha guy and an alphabet guy is that like when you're getting to know him during dating, an alpha guy will just call you. An alphabet guy will actually ask you if you're available and then call you." It may seem like a small thing, but it depicts consideration.

Similarly, he continues, "An alpha guy will just set up a date and that might sound really good and really great, but an alphabet guy will ask you, 'Is this the place you want to go to?' And get your sign-off before actually making the reservations and setting up all the logistics." This goes to show that the alphabet man respects your time and wishes as much as his own, if not more.

When you have an opinion, an alpha guy will shut it down because it is not his. An alphabet guy will seek to understand. Agreeing with him, @styledbynatashea said, "I think [that] is the difference between bulldozing and consideration, and I love it! Always choose the considerate guy."

Discussing the difference in depth, he continues, "Many of you might have grown up in households where all of the women are cooking all day long and the men are not doing anything. Those are alpha guys. Alphabet guys not only provide the money for your food but will also help with cooking." He then explains what he wants women to focus on: "I'm saying here that ultimately, I don't want you to get with a Will Smith. I want you to get with a Jazzy Jeff. And I know that it sounds really weird because so many of us have been conditioned to go for the Will Smiths but I want you to do it differently."

A user, @yourblackdoula commented on his video saying, "The Will & Jazz analogy was a perfect example! The guy 'in the background' is really the foundation. He is solid." White believes that women have been subconsciously conditioned to seek out the leader of the pack, irrespective of their emotional intelligence levels. Concluding his video, he proposes a question to the women watching: "But let me know in the comments, have you always gone for alpha guys?"