Date insisted on paying $38 dinner as a ‘gentleman.’ By morning, he was asking her to Venmo the money back when she couldn't see him
'I didn't really think it was something you would try to hold over me,' the woman texted back
Navigating the modern dating scene can be utterly exhausting, so when an evening actually goes well, it is only natural to hope that spark might lead somewhere real. That was precisely the case with a woman (u/Friendly_Table455) who started planning a second date with a man named Daniel after things went well the first time around. However, she soon realized that the excitement wasn't mutual, given Daniel's hostile replies. Upon digging into why he was acting so cold, she found out it was related to the other night's check, which he insisted on paying. What followed next prompted this woman to take to Reddit on September 8, 2026, and post the screenshots of their conversation, racking up 29,000 upvotes.
He insisted on paying for dinner, then accused me of using him when I couldn’t see him the next day
by u/Friendly_Table455 in mildlyinfuriating
A promising first date
After the first date, the woman decided to text Daniel after getting home to express her gratitude. "Thanks for tonight, I had a great time," she wrote. Then she eagerly expressed her interest in going out again the next weekend. At first, Daniel's response was also positive, noting that he enjoyed the evening as well, before asking if she wanted to see him again the next evening. However, the feelings began to shift immediately after the woman politely declined, citing that she had to work a night shift the following day.
A work conflict sparks tension
After this, Daniel tried to push further by stating that she ‘just’ drove for Uber Eats, so missing work might not be a big deal. Still, the woman patiently explained to him that if she didn't hit her targets, she would end up missing out on $300. Hearing this, Daniel became frustrated, saying that he was disappointed in her, especially given that he paid for the dinner. Though caught off guard by this comment, the woman pointed out that he volunteered to cover her half at the restaurant. "I didn't really think it was something you would try to hold over me," she said.
Accusations continue
Daniel countered by saying that he only covered her $38 because she stated in her dating profile that she wanted a gentleman. By then, the woman had seen enough and called things off. "It just seems like you're being pushy, and I don't want to feel like everything I accept from my potential partner could be held over my head," she asserted. Rather than letting the conversation end at this point, Daniel doubled down. He accused the woman of having an inflexible attitude.
The last request
When the woman stated that she never refused a second date, he began generalizing about women. "You used me for a free dinner, and now you're suddenly uninterested," he claimed. He insisted that her supposed reluctance to pull out her wallet proved she had played him. He then ultimately ended the conversation with a final request. "Can you Venmo me the $38 back?" He wrote. That was that, as the woman then shared screenshots of the exchange on Reddit.
The age-old debate
This entire incident adds another chapter to the long-running debate of who should be paying on the first date. Well, as it turns out, 44% of Americans believe it should be the man, according to a LendingTree survey. However, it's the men themselves who are more likely to have this opinion in comparison to the women. That is because 54% of men think they should be covering the check, while only 36% of women say that a man should pay for the first date. Additionally, 29% of people believe that the person who asked for the date should pay, while another 22% believe in splitting.
Should not put up with this
As for the Redditors, they believe the woman did the right thing by not putting up with the man's antics. u/Radioactivocalypse commented, "Trouble is, he will do this sort of thing with everyone he dates... and then someone will be a pushover and pay him back and cancel work to be with him. And then the abusive relationship can begin. Good work in not bending to him, and you dodged the bullet nice and early." Also, u/WelshBen pointed out, "He's done you a favour and showed himself early. Count yourself lucky and never speak to him again."
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