He paid for three dinner dates, then asked his Hinge match to cover dessert — her response sparked an argument

A man went on his third date with a woman he met on Hinge, a popular dating app. So far, everything had been good until they went to grab dessert after dinner. The man (u/savingrace0262 on Reddit) had been paying for everything — the food, drinks, etc., but when it came to dessert, he expected his date to at least offer to pay. However, that didn't happen. Furthermore, when she realized she might have to contribute, she became defensive and said he was making the situation uncomfortable. The man posted the story on March 8, asking whether he was being unreasonable in his expectations. The post has gotten 4,000 upvotes so far.

The 33-year-old man shared in his post that he had been on dates with a 29-year-old twice before, and this was their third time together. The first two dates went really well, and the man paid for both dinners. "...[I] didn't think much of it; I am generally fine paying on early dates," he confessed. On the third date, they went out for dinner again, and as usual, the man paid for everything. Post dinner, the couple wanted to have some dessert, so they went to a counter nearby, where he expected his date to pay, and that's when the tension began. "But she didn’t reach for her wallet at all. Instead, she kind of looked at me like she expected me to pay again. She then asked, 'Did you expect me to pay or something?'" The man recalled.

He explained to her that while he didn't really expect her to pay, he thought she would at least offer to buy dessert since he covered the dinner. For him, it was a small gesture of reciprocation. The situation escalated when the woman started her 'Who should pay on dates?' debate, saying it's a major 'turnoff' if a guy invites a girl out and also expects her to pay. "From my perspective, it wasn’t really about the cost of the dessert. It was more about the principle of showing some effort or appreciation. The vibe definitely changed after that conversation," the man added in his defense.

Gone are the days when only men were expected to pay on dates. Today, most men and women are independent and love splitting the bills evenly. For instance, a survey of over 1,000 U.S. adults conducted on behalf of Self Financial found that 44.1% believe whoever earns more should pay on the first date; similarly, 35.6% would like to split the bill, and, 20.6%, said whoever asked for the date should cover the expenses. However, another survey by LendingTree revealed the continued pressure on men to pay for the first dates. The study of 1,578 Americans found 44% of respondents in a heterosexual relationship believe that a man should pay for the first date. Interestingly, men are more likely to have this opinion than women (54% vs 36%).

Meanwhile, reacting to the Reddit story, u/thisiswhereuleaveme commented, "As a woman, I would’ve offered to pay well before the third date. I don’t think you were unreasonable at all, but she definitely was." Similarly, u/spirited_hour9714 shared, "Nah, it's not unreasonable; on the first date with my boyfriend, he picked me up, paid for dinner, and was a gentleman. On the second date, I picked him up since he worked 10 hours, and we drove to a concert/show that I had tickets for. You're adults, and it's called mutual reciprocity and respect." u/zonerf1 wrote, "Man, she has shown multiple red flags. Unwillingness to be generous and kind is not something that bodes well for a long-term relationship. Sense of entitlement is clear from her comments on expecting you to pay."

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