Dan Levy has a 5-word 'litmus test' for your relationship
'So often we date people who wouldn’t [pass the test] and hope that we can change them,' the 'Big Mistakes' celebrity said
Dan Levy, the Schitt’s Creek actor known for his stylish looks and cool eyeglasses, just pulled off a Two of Cups type conversation with Jake Shane, the host of the Therapuss podcast, Session 115, released by @most and @netflixpodcasts on April 9. Levy went on to share what, he said, is the “greatest piece of relationship advice” his best friend once shared with him. For someone who’s going through the infamous dating dilemma, “He loves me… he loves me not,” this piece of advice is a litmus test for the relationship. The episode's Instagram clip has been viewed 3.3 million times.
Born in 1983, the Canadian actor is single and has never been married. The advice, he said, was offered to him at a time when he was grappling with one of his many toxic relationships. According to him, the hack is “very simple” yet life-changing. It just involves asking this one question: “Would this person run to you? Not walk, run. Because they wouldn’t, then they are not right.”
Levy and Shane discussed how everyone knows what they’re dealing with deep down when they engage in dating or a relationship. They can fight and fight and fight for somebody, trying to win them over, but if that’s the dynamic, then they have already lost. Even if they get to win over the other person, they will be unhappy with that, having had to put so much effort into it. Love is supposed to be effortless after all.
Levy’s tip is backed by psychology and science. According to the couples researcher John Gottman, romantic relationships are not made up of grand sweeping gestures. Rose petals on the bed, candlelight dinners, or fairytale ideas might be good for engaging the cocktail of fantasy chemicals in their bodies, but relationships are not just about hypnotic rushes of chemicals. Relationships are much more than that; they are about deeper connections, as a report by PBS also explains.
A healthy romantic relationship is an embroidery sewn and stitched together by thousands and millions of micro-moments of connections that build trust, safety, and authenticity between the partners. “Find the person that will run to you, and it’s hard to accept that because so often we date people who wouldn’t and hope that we can change them,” Levy stated, adding, “It’s tough.”
Levy’s advice was met with mixed reactions from viewers. Many shared their own takes on the “Would they run to you?” test. Some of them disagreed with this take. “No, this take is not it… Passion doesn’t always manifest in the ways you want. It’s not lowering your expectations; it’s changing your perspective and seeing the beauty in all the different ways people show their passion and interest in you,” said @don.ixon.
@jonnifree, on the other hand, correlated the advice to their own relationship and shared, “Was finding too many brisk walkers before my track star came through.” Hollywood scripts might have taught our generation to chase the Prince Charming or the Dream Princess, but in real life, it’s much more complicated and boils down to this one question: Would they run to you?
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