Dad calls timeout on 4-year-old disrespecting mom. His 'talk' is a blueprint for raising better boys
'I am not going to let you talk to her like that...'
Kids are like clay molds, shaped by the people surrounding them. Parents may not realize it, but their children follow in their footsteps. The way they speak, behave, and treat others — the kids notice everything and reflect it in their lives. To foster values, parents must also follow them, and if kids do something they aren't supposed to, they must be guided back with care. Jonathan David Denham (@jd_denham_fit), a father of two, knows it better than anybody else. When he saw his son, Jax, 4, misbehaving with his wife, Alyssa, he didn't shout at him. Instead, Denham sat him down for a gentle conversation. He posted the video on Instagram on November 13, where several online users expressed their relief as his words.
"What's wrong, bud? Why are you treating Mommy like this?" he asked his son. Denham wanted his son to know that his behavior was unacceptable, and nobody treats a woman, especially their mom, badly. "I can't talk to Mom like that, and I am not going to let you talk to her like that," he said. Denham also spoke about his own mom, who had passed away, and explained to his son that he can never meet her, no matter how much he wants. "My mom isn't here anymore, so why don't you treat your mom and love her?" the dad added. He insisted that Jax hug his mommy and apologize for his behavior. Denham said that saying "sorry" can resolve conflicts that seem beyond repair and told his son that his mom would forgive him if he apologized from the heart. Their home CCTV camera captured the beautiful moment that Alyssa, Denham's wife, saw first, and later shared with her husband. "I am far from perfect, and I do not always handle things like this. I am a father who is a huge work in progress, but the key is PROGRESS," the dad confessed. Notably, after their conversation, the 4-year-old went straight to his mom and said sorry as discussed. "My wife tried to talk to him a little more, but I kind of gave her the eyes, like, he already gets it; just love on him. It was a very raw and authentic moment of learning how to deal with his emotions, and learning how 'sorry' can help make things better," Denham told Newsweek.
A study (Straus & Field, 2003) mentioned that nearly 90% of American parents rely on verbal aggression when disciplining their children, unlike Denham. However, yelling or shouting at kids does more harm than good. When parents scream at kids, they obviously develop fear, and they kind of disconnect from them. Now, fear switches on their brain's survival mode, leaving them in a mental state where they can't think clearly, control their emotions, or comprehend what's being taught, Dr. Dan Siegel, author of "The Whole-Brain Child," explained. This means no matter how much you yell at them, the kids won't understand anything or change their behavior.
Meanwhile, people were overwhelmed seeing how Denham handled the situation, teaching his child a lesson he would remember forever. Reacting to it, @soldadodecristo70x7 commented, "The calm voice and teaching your boy to respect his mother will be such a huge life lesson as he gets older. You are doing great!"
@thelorruhbee suggested, "I love this, but also make sure to listen when you ask why he’s doing that. Get his feelings too. But I love that you took the time. This is what real men look like. And your wife is blessed to have you."
You can follow JD Denham (@jd_denham_fit) on Instagram for more parenting-related content.
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