Dad's conversation on unequal gendered division of household labor sparks debate

Nobody likes doing daily chores but they have to be done as a part of responsibilities. In many families, partners share the load by taking the onus of doing chores equally. However, in the long run, a debate has been stirred up on whether each partner is doing enough tasks. Concerning a woman’s video about gendered division of labor, a dad (@world.shaker) shared his perspective on the situation. He mentioned that one of the commenters brought up the topic of “thankless tasks,” chores that must be done out of duty or regularity. The commenter mentioned how going to work all day and then doing something like changing the oil is passed off as a thankless task for men, whereas it should be appreciated.

In a befitting response, the dad said, “How often are you changing the oil?” He then pointed out an emerging trend where men are replying to gendered division of labor in a very straightforward and literal sense forgetting several aspects. “Men are like, ‘Oh if you want equality, you take out the trash, you change the oil, you do the yard work,'” the dad said.

He then compared the tasks men are asked to do to share the load to that which women regularly do. He expressed how some tasks are labeled as “women’s tasks” and just expected out of women. The dad said that the minimal tasks that men are asked to do are every once in a while unlike those which women do.

“The tasks that women are associated with like laundry or dishes, they are perpetual, they’re never-ending,” the dad highlighted. He added, “They are never fully done.” The dad pointed out how these chores are passed off as “invisible” because they’re expected. However, they still are quite a recurring burden for women. The tasks that men complain about are often “infrequent, can be done independently and often don’t take up much time,” the dad explained.

These everyday tasks that women do are actually important and exhausting but are still “thankless” tasks. The dad also pointed out another aspect of the difference between the tasks men and women do. The dad explained that chores like taking out the trash which men do are performative and it’s visible when it’s done. However, the tasks women constantly do are barely noticed because they’re a repetitive pattern.

“I’ve had women comment on my videos saying they leave the vacuum out when they vacuum, otherwise their husbands wouldn’t notice. It’s a very interesting difference,” the dad said. The small tasks women do often add up in a snowball effect and there is no stopping point. Several women acknowledged the man for his overwhelming support and eye-opening insight. @mrs.mommywills added to his input and said, “You also don’t see the meal planning, schedule organizing and time figuring out what everyone needs.” @meggy_louisee said, “Having to explain to my partner that I envy him being able to do independent tasks like go to the shop instead of staying at home and being a parent- he doesn’t get it.” It’s high time one pays more attention and notices the “thankless” tasks women do because, looking at the larger picture, it makes all the difference.