Dad wonders if he was in the wrong for not 'focusing' on the baby after delivery

Childbirth is a painful process where a mother needs more than just regular medical attention. Since family members, mostly the fathers of the child, are allowed in the delivery room, they can hold the hands of the new mother as she brings their child into the world. However, u/Longjumping-Meet4547 found himself in an awkward spot when he forgot to take a look at his newborn and chose to focus on his wife, who went through a tough labor. He turned to the Reddit community, asking if he was in the wrong for focusing on his wife instead of his newborn son.

"When I tell you this woman went to hell to back to deliver our child! It was an 'easy' delivery, yet it was more gruesome than my worst nightmares," the post began. Despite reading a lot of materials about childbirth, the father was unprepared for the moment when his wife delivered their son. In the middle of the chaos in the delivery room, the new dad forgot to look at his baby when he was born. "It may sound cruel, but I was fine with the nurse telling us that the baby is healthy. The woman I had promised to love and protect was crying, howling and looking like she was fighting death all because of me. My entire focus was on her and her doctor," the man admitted on his Reddit post.

When his mother turned up at the hospital, asking how the baby looked, the new dad had no answer. "She apparently wanted to relate back to how I looked. I said I didn't know and told her why. Apparently, I was in the wrong for that. She told my wife's mother, who echoes the sentiment. I got the rare opportunity that most men in their era never did and screwed it up," the post continued. One of their critical remarks was passed at the earshot of his wife, who managed to hear it and was deeply hurt.

"She heard it and started crying over how I don't love our child. That, I don't mind. She's still zonked out on hormones and painkillers. Luckily, she quickly fell asleep and hasn't mentioned it since. I was guessing (hoping) she didn't register that interaction. But yeah, am I in the wrong and a whipped husband who messed it up?" the post concluded. The Reddit audience came forward with their opinions on this incident. Most of the commentators assured the man that there was nothing wrong with feeling overwhelmed and occupied right after the birth of his child.

u/AgnarCrackenhammer shared, "My Dad fainted when I was born. My mom still jokes with him about it, but it didn't stop him from being a great dad for the past 33 years. Everyone reacts in that moment differently. The important thing is you were present and made sure everyone involved was ok. No idea why you're getting so much hate for this." u/BluePopple noted, "It is quite sweet that you focused on your wife who could gain comfort from you in that time. Your new baby really wouldn't have gained anything from you having eyes on it the moment it exited the birth canal. Please, make sure to tell your wife how much you love her and the baby and how special it was when the baby was handed to you and you saw him/her for the first time."

u/Next-Firefighter4667 commented, "One of the most common complaints I see is that the mom is all but forgotten by everyone except the medical team. You did exactly what you should have done. The baby was safe and cared for. I'd have been hurt if my partner fully ignored me. I bet your wife will agree once she's healed, has heard your feelings on the matter and can see that you love your child, too." u/stellaluna2019 added, "I nearly died in childbirth and my son went to the NICU. My husband was told by the doctors to stay with me because I was going to need him more and my son was in excellent hands."