Dad learns 'spoiled' step-daughter bullies peer for being poor, teaches her an important lesson

There is a massive difference between valuing and being grateful for your privilege versus using that privilege to make others feel unimportant and invaluable. An understanding and awareness of what we are blessed with and being thankful for it and, in fact, using that to be kind to those around us needs to be ingrained in humans at a young age. It becomes the responsibility of parents to ensure that their children grow up grateful for their comfortable, luxurious lives and a couple did exactly that when they found out their daughter was “bullying a girl in school over being poor.” u/LearningParenting215 took to Reddit to ask whether what they did was right or not. 

The stepfather explained that two months ago, he and his wife found out that their “kinda spoiled” stepdaughter was “bullying” a girl in her school for her poor financial condition, who was “getting free lunch at school” and not having “her own nice car” and other necessities. He further revealed, “We provided her with everything she needed along with an allowance and a part-time job at my company (small family service business). We have been considered middle-class, doing things others were not as privileged to do, such as buying our daughter a car on her 16th birthday.” He also explained his background of belonging to “a family of immigrants” and growing up in poverty. He said that he was “furious” when he found out what his daughter was up to and said they “didn't raise her to behave that way” and she was an “honors” student ranking at the top of her class.

When the father tried speaking to her, he found her perspective “disturbing.” He said, “I was disturbed to learn it was because she viewed that girl as ‘trailer trash,’ which irritated me. The girl, what I learned is very smart and works hard. She bought her own beater car by herself and worked two jobs.” He also said that his daughter expressed that their family’s money is her money and upon hearing this, the father “put her in her place” and explained to her that “it was not her money,” but her mom and her father’s money.

After it dawned upon the father that they were “spoiling their daughter too much,” their next steps were to take away all the luxuries they had provided her with including replacing her latest iPhone with an iPhone 8 with a fixed talking and texting plan. “We took away her family credit card and sold her car, along with her Macbook and other luxuries. I also told her she should have to find a job without nepotism and work a minimum wage job like everyone else her age because I’m done giving her handouts if she's gonna act entitled,” he wrote.

He updated the post with his daughter’s progress in the last two months and informed her that she got a job at a fast food restaurant with the parents “driving her around.” He added, “She doesn’t talk to me unless she needs something like a ride but is very upset with me. My wife feels like I am taking this too far because it’s affecting her social status, grades and school. I, however, feel like she needs to be humbled because I can’t have a daughter who will disrespect people just because of the amount of money they have.”

He turned to Reddit users for advice on whether he was being too hard on his daughter. The comment section took it upon themselves to let the father know their two cents about the situation. u/Opposite-Mention5124 said, “It’s important to teach your daughter the value of empathy and respect for others, regardless of their financial situation. By holding her accountable for her actions and making her experience the consequences of her behavior you are teaching her a valuable life lesson. It may be tough for her now, but in the long run, this will help her become a better person.” u/IamIrene added a point about empathy, saying, “This is parenting. She’ll learn a thing or two working in the service industry, especially empathy.”